Why Can't You Love Me Like He Does?
by Pongo0614
Summary: Clara has the perfect life. A good job, a wonderful home and a lovely husband. Well she wouldn't say her husband was very lovely. She can't tell anyone and she can't escape him. When the new physics teacher starts, Clara cannot help but be attracted to him. But she is married, so it isn't right. Is it? Abusive!11/Clara 12/Clara
1. Love

_Hi Guys, I am back_

 _Sorry for the delay, I had hoped to get more written than I actually did and then I just didn't feel like I was ready to come back. But at the moment, I feel like I need a distraction from work to actually get the work done. Believe me, when you are watching 50 odd videos for one subject, writing 100 words plus of a chapter really helps. Doesn't mean I do it quicker but it helps._

 _For those who read Let Me Help You, you will see a slightly similar theme because I had both theses ideas at the same time. (Technically there was a third story that happened to be the first idea but that was forgotten about due to lack of ideas.)_

* * *

 **Love**

Love.

It is defined as a strong feeling of affection. It is a word that we are willing to give to the people that have earnt it. Our parent earn it because they will be there from the very start. They are the people that guide us through life. Our children earn it because they are a product of the love between you and your partner, whether it is your own or adopted.

Now to love a stranger. That is a lot harder. People do though. We find someone that we are attracted to or someone that we enjoy being with. We get to know them and in getting to know them, they earn our trust. You give them a little bit more each time until they know everything about you and you know everything about them. The greatest mutual trust.

Unfortunately, that trust can be broken.

My name is Clara Smith (for the second time) and this is my story of how I fell in love with two men, their only similarity being their name.

I just happened to fall in love with two people, both named John Smith. To differentiate between them, I will call my first husband, John, and my second one, Doctor. Don't ask about the second one and why I call him that. Everyone calls him that. It is just his name.

I met John (my first husband) when I was 13. He had just moved from Leadworth in Gloucestershire to Blackpool. He was in care and he went from foster home to foster home, never finding the right person to adopt him. His best friends had moved to America due to work commitments. I never really understood why both of them left him. But due to that, he started to rebel. Without anyone else, he didn't know what to do with himself.

And so he latched on to me. I was grateful for it when my mum died when I was 16. It hit me hard and I had no idea how I was meant to carry on without her guidance. I do still think that John was the only reason I got through it. He was my rock when I needed him most.

I had always found him attractive. I would not deny that. As we got older, the teasing turned into gentle flirting before I found the courage to tell him that we should just go out when we started year 13. I have no idea why that year. It was our last of secondary school. We would have headed off to university. I suppose that is probably why we both chose London universities and two that were close together. John always moaned that he could have done his course at my university but I told him that he had his heart set on going to Queen Mary and it offered the course that he wanted to do in astrophysics. He would have just had to do just a physics degree if he went to mine.

I don't know whether I was stupid or not but I married John at 24. While all my friends were out getting drunk, bring home a different man each time they went out, I had one and I thought that he was the man that I could spend the rest of my life with.

Thought is the word I would use now.

I became a teacher and now work at Coal Hill, a secondary school in Shoreditch. John got a job at the European Space Agency in Oxfordshire. He mainly worked from home and only went up for conferences or meetings to discuss results. Everything seemed perfect. He had his job all about space and I had my job teaching the next generation. We had a flat but brought a house because of the money John was earning. We had a good life.

Then John lost his job. We had only been married for two years and we had started to talk about children. We could have still had them. The redundancy package that John was given would have kept us going while he found another job. We could have carried on our plans. But we didn't.

John was never a drinker. When he turned 18, a group of guys that he was friends with took him out to celebrate. I had told him to have a good night. It was a lads night. The story went all around the school that he had taken one mouthful of beer before spitting it back into the glass. He hated the taste of it. It was handy for me though. I like a good night out. I can't remember half the nights that he would bring me back home or sitting in the bathroom with me while I was throwing up. Again, he just seemed like a stable choice. Someone that would always be there for me.

Something changed when he lost his job. Nothing seemed to excite him any more. He started to drink as a way to pass the time, I guess. I tried to get him to look at other jobs but I suppose it was different for him. There would always be another school looking out for an English teacher. There wasn't always a space agency looking out for an astrophysicists.

He started to drink and soon his redundancy package didn't seem like it was enough. The more he got bored, the more he drunk. I had never seen him like it before. John slowly moved further and further away from the man that I had fallen in love with. My teacher's wage was only just keeping us afloat. Even though it came throughout the year, it just wasn't enough and there was nothing I could do to make John see that. I ended up getting an extra job during the summer and Christmas just so we could keep the lifestyle we had become accustomed to. I wouldn't have minded going without but John...

I doubt I will never know or understand what happened to John. I will never know or understand what he was thinking. The sweet boy that I had met aged 13 had become this aggressive drunk.

And I will admit now. It scared me.

* * *

Clara shut the lid of her laptop as she finished typing. She leant over the bed and placed it down on the floor before pushing it under it slightly.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you." She said.

The Doctor chuckled before rubbing her shoulder. "I had wondered what you were doing."

She turned to him and leant into his embrace. She placed her head underneath his chin and closed her eyes. He rubbed her arm before giving her a kiss into her hair.

"It will get better."

"I know." She paused. "I do think that she was right. I do think that writing about what happened will help."

"So is that the first post of your blog?"

"At least a rough draft. I will read through it in the morning."

"I probably wouldn't change anything, just check the grammar and spelling. Probably what you have written just now was pure emotion. That is how you should write it."

"I will keep that in mind."


	2. New Teacher

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _Before we start this story properly, I just want to say that I do like 11 and that I have nothing against him. I just wanted to put that out there._

 _Please enjoy._

* * *

 **New Teacher**

It was the first day back after the summer. Clara sighed with some relief at that thought. She could go back and do the job she loved. She could already picture the corridors being filled with students, new and old, reuniting, even if they had seen each other, and chatting away about their summers. She could see the excited faces of the years 7's just starting 'big school' and the bored looks of the year 11s as they think it is the start of another year.

She just wished she was with them but she wasn't and she was running late.

Clara tried to make as little noise as possible as she looked for her keys. She carefully picked up each bottle to see whether it was obstructing them. She sighed heavily as she left the kitchen to the living room. She frowned as she saw John sleeping along the sofa. She knew that he hadn't come to bed last night because she found his side empty and cold but she knew that he would now be grumpy because of how uncomfortable the sofa was to sleep on.

She made her way carefully and slowly over to her keys, attempting not to wake him up. She heard him shift as her keys jiggled as she picked them up.

"I didn't mean to wake you." She said as she turned to him, seeing him awake. She walked over to him and kissed him on the cheek. "Got to get to work."

She stopped suddenly as he grabbed her wrist. It was something that he used to do and she used to feel her heart jump at the motion before he would slowly pull her back. She would usually fall against his chest and he would kiss her properly before letting her go with 'have a good day Mrs Smith.'

But not now. His grip was tight around her wrist. She made sure that she moved back to him before he pulled her.

"You haven't kissed me properly." He said, raising his head up.

Clara gave him a small smile before kissing his lips, making sure that it was as passionate as she could make it without ruining her make-up. She could feel his grip loosen on her wrist and she pulled back before standing out of his reach.

"Sorry, I have to go. I will be late."

* * *

 _5 minutes early is on time. On time is late. Late is unacceptable._

That was all that Clara could hear in her mind as she rounded the corner and made the short distance to the staff room. She hated being late. She was someone that was always early.

Clara composed herself as she opened the door to the staff room. She felt like one of the kids when they would enter to talk to one of them. Everyone turned and looked at her.

"I am so sorry."

"Please come in Mrs Smith. Don't worry, you haven't missed too much. I am sure Adrian will catch you up."

Clara smiled at him before walking over the Adrian as the headmaster finished up.

"You're late." Adrian whispered.

"I know." She whispered back.

"You're never late."

"Don't rub it in. I hate being late."

"John?"

All Clara had to do was sigh and he knew that John was the reason.

"Clara?"

"Adrian, there is no need to worry. Everything is fine. I just couldn't find my keys and he requested that I gave him a proper kiss before I left. Nothing that hasn't happened before."

"I will always worry about you. Every since ..."

"I know." She interrupted him.

She allowed her eyes to scan the staff room. She stopped when she sees a man that she didn't recognise. He looked sharp in the suit he had on, a white shirt with black trousers and a navy coat. Clara tried not to guess his age but she knew that he was going to be one of the older ones among them with his grey hair and wrinkles. But that did mean that he wasn't handsome. Clara cursed herself for thinking that but he was.

"New guy?" She asked Adrian as everyone started their own conversations.

"Only new addition we have."

Clara smiled up at Adrian before she made her way over to him. He had moved from his place to the little kitchenette in the corner of the room. She leant against the counter as he filled up the kettle.

"Coffee?" He said.

Clara smiled and nodded. He was Scottish and, even though only one word had fallen out of his mouth, she loved it.

"I'm Clara by the way." She said holding out her hand.

"The Doctor." He took her hand and shook it.

"I was hoping for your name, not your title." She joked.

He chuckled. "My name isn't anything special. It was just a nickname that I had that has stuck."

"Names are important even if they are boring. What are you a doctor in then?"

"Physics." He said as he poured out the hot water.

"Ah so you are replacing Mr Jacobs."

"I should hope so." He said as he handed her a mug and the milk and sugar. "Should have asked how you had your coffee."

"It's fine." She said as she poured in the milk and put in one sugar.

"Hey, we should all go out to Well & Bucket tonight to welcome the Doctor." One of the teacher shouted.

There was a mummer of agreement. Clara just wondered whether John would allow her.

* * *

Clara and Adrian stood by the bar as they waited for the drinks that they had ordered. They were on rounds by department and it was now the English departments turn.

"It is nice that you have come out for a change."

"I am glad that it was mentioned earlier in the day. I called John as soon as I left the staff room. I do need to be back by 8 though."

"I know that it might sound like an obvious question but why don't you just leave him?"

"I … I can't. Not in the state that he is in. I just can't. If just losing his job has made him like he is, what do you think he would be like if I left him? I would never be able to go into another relationship and he probably … I wouldn't want to think what he would do."

"But you are clearly unhappy."

She smiled at the bartender as he placed the drinks on two trays for them. "It has just been a long day, that's all."

* * *

"You look a little cold." The Doctor said as he placed his coat around her shoulders.

She pulled it closer to her. "Thanks, but won't you be cold."

"I am not the one that has been sitting outside."

Clara sighed. "I had ordered a taxi but the guy has just phoned me and told me that he is stuck in traffic because of some accident. So I told him not to bother but no other taxi service can get here."

"Where do you live?"

"Wimbolt Street. The amount of time that I have been sitting here, I could have probably walked home." She looked down at her phone.

"Come on, I will give you a lift. It will give me a reason to leave."

"Not enjoying it?" She asked as she followed him.

"Not really my scene."

He got out his keys and unlocked his car. Clara took off his coat and folded it up as she got in, placing it on her lap. She gave him directions and they made small talk as they went. Clara really didn't know what to make of him. There seemed like there were times during the day that he wanted to be left alone but now, with her, he was really chatty.

"If you just drop me here, I will be fine." She said as they got closer to her road.

With John being as he is, she knew that the last thing that she should do is pull up outside the house in a strangers car. He would go ballistic at her.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it will be fine." She said as she got out. "Thanks for your coat."

"I will see you tomorrow Mrs Smith."

"See you tomorrow Doctor."

She watched him drive off and took a deep breath before she looked at her phone for the time. She groaned as her phone showed 19:59. She didn't live far but it was still a push to be back in a minute. She pulled her bag close to her chest before running down the street, hoping to be home as close to 8 as possible.


	3. Unwelcoming Return

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _Right on with the third chapter_

* * *

 **Unwelcoming Return**

Clara sighed as she slowly opened the door and walked into the porch. She tried to regain her breath after running down the street and was hoping to carefully shut the door behind her. The wind caught it and caused it to slam shut.

"Clara?" She heard John call out.

She cursed under her breath as she slipped out of her shoes and dropped her bag to the floor, there was no reason to even attempt to be quiet now. He knew that she was home. He knew that she was late home. She took a deep breath as she pushed open the door from the porch into the living room.

She gave him a wide smile. "Have you had a good day?" She asked as part of her normal routine. She hoped that if she kept everything seeming normal, it would stay normal.

"You're late. It is 8:03." John stated.

She fought the urge to roll his eyes at his pedantic nature as she moved towards the kitchen. "Yeah, there had been an accident and the taxi struggled to get to the pub."

"I didn't hear a car pull up."

"Anyway, I said I would be home by at least 8. Have you eaten?" She said trying to move the conversation on.

"I said I didn't hear a car pull up."

"I ended up walking home because the guy rang me and I told him not to bother. I don't know why I didn't in the first place. It isn't like we live far from the pub anyway." She lied.

There was a part of her that used to feel guilty for lying to him, even if it was a little white lie. It used to eat her up inside before her mouth would find a life of it's own and she would spill that she had lied to him. He used to just throw his head back and laugh at her before saying that it was okay.

Now she had almost perfected the act of lying. She had to. She wanted to be able to do things without him realising. She wanted to have a normal life. She had to lie to friends and family about her home life. She had to lie to herself that everything was alright, that things would get better.

She had expected him to straight up catch her out. She knew that she could have said it in a different way, tried to make herself more convincing. Clara prepared herself for the worst. She prepared herself for him to start shouting and for her to start crying. She started to work out what she was going to say to defend herself.

The last thing she expected was for him to walk over to her and kiss her. It caught her off guard as she began to kiss him back. He slowly backed her up to the wall and she gasped as she hit it, breaking from their kiss. She looked up at him and smiled. Maybe she had made it all up in her head. Maybe she shouldn't dread coming home like she did. Maybe he was still the same man.

Part of her wanted to believe that as he leant in for another kiss but part of her was trying to remind her that this was what he was like when he was drunk and that he was probably doing it to shock her into saying what he wanted to hear her say. The worst thing was, she would.

Clara couldn't help herself lean forwards as John pulled away, only to open her eyes wide as her head when back as he grabbed her throat. The grip wasn't hard but it was enough to let her know that his hand was there.

"Who did you go out with?" He asked.

"Work. I told you it was work. A new guy started. They said that we should go out to welcome him."

"Him?"

"John, please." She whimpered.

Clara hated sounding so weak, but sometimes it was the only way that he would stop. His gaze soften as his hand dropped. She closed her eyes to try and compose herself.

She heard him shift before a string of kiss started from her mouth, making they way down her jawline towards her neck. She let herself go to the sensation before opening her eyes when he stopped, his lips millimetres from her neck. She felt him exhale sharply.

"Where were you? Who were you with?" He spat. "Don't lie to me."

Clara let out shaky breath. "I was out at Well & Bucket. I was with Adrian and a few of the other teachers."

"Why do I smell aftershave on you?"

"The new guy. He gave me his coat because I was sitting outside. He said I looked cold. He was just trying to be nice."

She wished that he had lifted his head. She still believed that she could read him. She wanted to know what he was thinking. The last thing she needed was him accusing her of having another affair. She knew that it was the way that it was going. He was going to accuse her of having an affair and then he would go and try to punch the living daylights out of him to show him who was boss. The Doctor didn't need that.

"He was just trying to be friendly. He didn't mean anything by it. He was just trying to be a gentleman. I get that vibe off him. He is … someone that tries to be a proper gentleman."

"He shouldn't have." John said before he kissed her neck.

Clara just tried to let herself get taken away by the sensation of him sucking at her neck. She tried not to think about how much it would show tomorrow. She tried not to think about what she could wear to cover it up as it wouldn't be seen as appropriate. She tried not to curse John and all men for their primitive tendencies and their needed to mark their territory. Because that was what John was doing. Marking her for the Doctor and everyone else to see that she was his.


	4. The Warning

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _Now something from the Doctor's POV._

 _What does he think about all of this?_

* * *

 **The Warning**

There were a few things on his mind. Mainly them all being about Clara Smith.

The Doctor slowly stirred his coffee as he tried to work out the meaning behind some of their words. He had told them that he had taken Clara home before going home himself when they asked him where he had got to and they all gave him a small look of horror before saying something like he shouldn't have done that. It seemed odd to him. Why shouldn't he have given her a lift home?

He snapped himself out of his day dream. The last thing that should be on his mind was Clara Smith. She was a married woman. Another person that he would be attracted to but never be able to have. He could only be her friend.

"Morning." He said as Adrian approached him.

Adrian open his mouth before placing his hands together. "Please don't take this the wrong way."

The Doctor raised his eye brow at him. "Take what the wrong way?"

"I saw you give Clara your jacket last night and then worse, I saw her get in your car and I presume that you took her home."

"Yeah, there were problems with the taxis and some accident that ..."

"You shouldn't have." Adrian interrupted.

"Sorry?"

"You shouldn't have driven her home and the last thing you should have done was give her your jacket."

"I was only being gentlemanly. Something that your generation seems to have lost."

Adrian sighed. "Look, Clara would be too nice to tell you this, so I think that I wouldn't be crossing any line saying this. Be careful around her. I am only her friend because I have known her since she started here. There are many people here who would love to be her friend but know that they can. Just take it from me, don't do anything stupid like that again."

The Doctor opened his mouth to reply but instead watched Adrian go. There was something that he didn't like about what he had just said. There was something that just didn't sit right with him.

The bell went and the Doctor picked up his coffee and made his way to his classroom. He looked up just at the right time to see Clara rush down the hall towards him. He smiled at her but she just looked blankly at him, not really giving him a second glance.

Something was up and the Doctor knew that Clara Smith wouldn't be leaving his mind any time soon.

* * *

His mother had always told him that a cup of tea couldn't solve and that it was the best way to make something up to someone.

He knew that he hadn't done anything wrong but by how everyone was reacting, he had become very self-conscious that he had. Clara could have declined his offer. He knew that he had placed his coat around her shoulders but she could have given it back to him straight away.

The Doctor was quite glad that her door was slightly open when he reached it. He hadn't really thought about it when he made two cups.

"Knock, knock." He said as he pushed the door open a little more. "Thought you might like a cup of tea."

She turned to him and smiled. "Thank you."

He took that as acceptance for him to enter and he passed her the cup to her waiting hands. He sat on the desk opposite her desk.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine." She replied.

The Doctor had already noted that her smile wasn't as wide as it was yesterday but her reply told him a lot more. Something was up with Clara Smith and he worried that he had done something to contribute to that.

"Did I do something wrong yesterday by driving you home?" He said before he had chance to think over the question.

"No, why do you think that?"

"Just a few things that have been … implied. Looks of horror after explaining where I got to."

Clara blinked at him. "It's nothing."

"Clara." He started.

"Doctor?"

He looked at her. She might have been short but he was sure that it would have made her a strong woman. If she said that everything was fine, that it probably was. She didn't need him poking his nose into her life.

"I'm glad that it is nothing."

She dropped eye contact at that point and the Doctor did wonder if that was the wrong thing to say, whether she wanted someone to notice that it was something.

"I should probably leave you to get on. You are probably up to your neck in marking and planning like I am. It is weird how behind you can get with one night off."

"Yeah." She looked up at him as he stood up. "Thank you for the tea."

"Any time."

The Doctor closed the door behind him as he left her to it. She was fine. He was just worrying about nothing.

* * *

The Doctor turned at the shout of his name. He watched Clara as she ran, trying to keep the bags that she had in their place.

"Mrs Smith." He said when she reached him.

"Thanks for waiting."

They started to walk towards the exit.

"I … I just want to apologize how I was earlier. Just I got home last night to find some marking that I hadn't completed and I was up until the early hours doing that while my husband was trying to coax me into bed. What I am saying is I am just a little tired and the class before you came in was set on doing no work and … it has just been a long day."

"There is no need to explain. We all have bad days."

She turned and looked up at him. "Thank you."

He smiled down at her. "What? It is the truth isn't it?"

The Doctor smiled wider as she smiled at him. It was like the one yesterday, showing off her dimples. He could just feel his attraction to her increasing.

"Do you want a lift home?" He asked her when they reached the car park.

"No thank you, I don't live far and I enjoy the walk." She paused. "There was nothing wrong with last night. Trust me when I say that."

The Doctor watched her as she walked away, starting to make her journey home. He tired to find some comfort in her words but couldn't help but also think about Adrian's warning. He supposed only time would tell to which instinct would be right.


	5. Confusion

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _So we know what the Doctor feels about Clara, but what does Clara feel about the Doctor?_

* * *

 **Confusion**

She felt bad for the Doctor. She really did.

She didn't mean to be so defensive when he had come to see her earlier in the day but she had just so used to putting up her walls to make sure that no one saw how bad her life actually was. He didn't need to get involved in the mess.

It just felt weird to her for someone at school to show her some kind of kindness. All the other teachers knew about her home life. All the male teachers, bar Adrian, didn't even approach her all because she had let Danny become her friend. They hadn't spoken more than two words since, just smiles in the corridors when he became someone that Clara felt like she could speak rather openly to.

She knew that the Doctor only thought that he was trying to help. The thing was he was helping with his kindness but it wasn't at the same time. There was also the small point that she though that he was rather attractive for his age.

Clara stopped in the middle of the path at the thought. Even with John like he was, she had never given another man a second glance or had any thoughts about another man. She was married. She was still loyal to John. So why had she thought that point about the Doctor?

She looked up as some woman passed her, shouting some abuse at her for stopping where she did. Clara shook her head to clear her last thought.

With John the way that he was, she couldn't afford to think of another man in that way.

She started to walk again as she remembered what Adrian had said about her leaving him. She couldn't lie to herself any more. She had thought about it many times, when he first became aggressive, when he had been rather harsh one night. But then the morning would come and she would think that it wasn't as bad as it probably was and she would just stay with him. Anyway she was sure that she would never be able to leave him without endangering his or her life. She would hate it if she caused him some harm.

Clara had wondered so many times why it went so wrong. She knew that people lost their jobs but she had stood by his side as he mourned the job of his dreams. She had tried to support him as he took the time to get himself back together. She had tired to suggest other things to him. She knew that he was a man that needed his mind to be active. She had even suggested that he could go back to university to retrain. She had given him nothing but love and time. So what happened to him to make him turn the way that he had.

At that point she became self-conscious. She pulled the scarf tighter around her neck.

Unless it was cold, she didn't partially like wearing scarves. She didn't understand why someone would wear something around their necks when it was hot but she had become one of those people when she need it. It was either that or try and explain to a group of kids and the headmaster why she had a load of love bites over her neck. She didn't think the explanation of her husband wanting to make sure every man knew that she was his would go down well.

As she got closer to her home, she wondered if she should have accepted the Doctor's lift. There was the small problem that she would have been back home sooner but there was just something about him that made her feel safe. She made sure she wasn't in the way when she stopped again. Did she feel safe with the Doctor?

She could remember how warm his coat felt around her shoulders and his aftershave floating off the coat, her breathing in his musky scent. She could remember watching him as he safely navigated the roads as she gave him directions. She couldn't remember him holding a conversation for as long as he held one with her.

It was so wrong but for some reason it felt so right that she was attracted to the Doctor.

* * *

"Hey, I'm back." Clara shouted as she kicked open the porch door and brought her bags into the living room, placing them by the table.

She would admit that she did come home quite apprehensive. She had no idea what mood he would be in. So she was a little surprised to see him in the kitchen, bent over a book while there were pans on the hob just starting to bubble away.

"What are you doing?"

John looked up at her before turning down the heat of the hob. He cleared his throat. "I'm cooking dinner."

There was a joke on the tip of her tongue but she didn't say it. "It smells amazing."

"I just wanted to apologise for last night." He said as he walked towards her. "I should have reacted the way that I did."

Clara was glad that there were steps down to the kitchen as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "I do get it. You are just a bit protective of me."

"Clara, I still can't believe that after 6 years, I am married to you. A man like me doesn't get a girl like you."

"John, everyone I knew wanted to get with you at secondary. You could have had your pick of girls."

"Well I picked you."

"And I picked you as well."

He leant in and kissed her. She always hoped that when he was like this, he was being genuine. She would hate for this just to be another of his games.

"Look, why don't you get on with your marking and I will finish up dinner? I doubt it will be much longer."

Clara nodded at him. "Maybe you could get the kettle on at the same time."

"Yes ma'am."

She looked over her shoulder at him before she went to get her marking.

She hoped that he was being genuine. It was times like these that she could forget everything that he had done and just blame it on the alcohol. She now felt guilty for thinking about the Doctor and how attractive he was. She would have no more thoughts about the Doctor. She was married to John and it wasn't right.

So why didn't it seem like it was the right decision?


	6. The Doctor

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _Okay so I have almost finished writing this story and I am a bit conscious of the time I have left before my exams (because I am going to be taking a break again on 9th April), so this is going to be on a 3 uploads a week before going on daily. I am sorry if that seems like I am rushing it but I have just realised that I should have been uploading this story 3 times a week from the start._

 _I hope you understand._

* * *

 **The Doctor**

Every student didn't think that the weekend was long enough. There wasn't enough hours in those two days to do all the homework that they had been putting off and relax at the same time. One would have to suffer.

For Clara, the weekends seemed to go on forever, no matter how much work she had to do. The good thing about her going out for the majority of the day to work, meant that she wasn't home, it was only the evenings that she had to deal with his ever changing moods. The weekends meant that she was home for two days in constant fear that she would somehow do or say something wrong and then John would change and go mad at her. She was fine all the time he was calm.

Her phone buzzed next to her as she read through the essay. She picked it up and smiled widely.

It was probably the wrong thing to do but she had swapped numbers with the Doctor. They had just hit off so well and, with him being colder to the rest of their colleagues, she thought that it was sweet of him to try and make an effort with her, probably the person he should give the cold shoulder to.

She wanted to laugh but she knew that John would then ask who had text her and probably want to read it. She replied to the Doctor with three crying laughing emojis.

Clara turned back to the essay she was marking. She looked at the name at the top and couldn't help but feel a little proud of the student. She knew that he struggled with English after being his teacher for year 7 but she was so glad that he was starting to come through. His ideas were good but they just needed to be communicated better. She scribbled that down with 'Please come and see me if you need any help'.

She placed the essay on the top of the pile and picked up the next one. Her phone buzzed again and this time she couldn't help but laugh.

 _Please can you not use those faces. What even do they mean?_

She knew that he was a man of a different generation but she had found some of the things that he would say to be rather up-to-date. Obviously he wasn't as up-to-date as she thought he was. She gave him a quick text back.

Clara was in her own little world, her music playing from her laptop, following a really good essay. She enjoyed it when one of her students really grasp what she was after, giving points that she didn't think of but couldn't argue with. By the next time her phone buzzed, John was quicker to get it than her.

"Who the hell is the Doctor?"

She looked up at him. "He is the new teacher. Physics. You would probably like him. He is rather intelligent and knows his stuff. Although he knows not to go into too much detail and bore me when he talks science."

John looked hurt. "I used to bore you."

"No, not all the time. Just … sometimes it was like you were speaking another language." She said, trying to get out of the hole she had dug herself into.

She watched him as he unlocked her phone and started to read through their texts. She had been careful about what she had text him just encase John did read them at any point, but she had just been careful about what she said to the Doctor full stop. Danny had wanted to be the hero to take her away from it all when he found out.

There was something about John's blank expression that worried her. She already knew what his next sentence was going to before he had even said it.

"You are going to delete his number."

"John..."

"The man sounds like an idiot."

"John ..."

"And you won't be speaking to him again."

"John, you can't stop me talking to everyone that I work with. These people are my colleagues. Am I meant to just sit by myself? All Billy no mates?" She said, angrily.

John's expression didn't change. It was like he hadn't even heard her as he slipped her phone into his pocket.

"Anyway what sort of a name is the Doctor?"

She wanted to tell him that it was her phone and that she could do whatever she wanted but she just let him go. She would get it back later. She just had to focus on her marking. The job now filled her with dread as she felt like there was no more light relief from it, other than a good essay.

* * *

"John?" She said as she played with his hair, his head on her bare chest.

"Clara?"

"I know that you never expected to get me but why are you so protective of me? I am married to you. I choose you. I don't want anyone other than you."

He remained quiet.

"I would never allow any other man to come into my life in that way. I would never allow any other man to come between us. John … I just want to be friends with the people I want to be friends with."

"Like this Doctor."

"He is a really nice guy. A bit strange but nice."

"I don't trust him."

"Why?"

He sat up and looked down at her. "Have you seen the things that he has been texting you? You don't see it but I do."

"See what?"

"He is a man and I don't care how old his is. He is still a man."

"John what are you on about?"

"Would every lonely man want to be seen with a pretty little thing?"

Clara could not stop her mouth from opening. "John, please tell me that you are not insinuating that again."

"I have made my own conclusion."

"It is friendship."

"You said that about Danny."

"Because that was also only friendship." Clara could feel the anger building up inside her but she tried to repress it.

"Clara I don't like arguing with you."

"Nor do I."

"Please just stay away from him."

She remembered when he asked her to do the same thing with Danny. She had done it and just felt so empty and so bad for Danny that they went back to talking within a week. She wouldn't allow that to happen with the Doctor. She was the queen of lying now.

"Okay." She said.


	7. I Shouldn't

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _A lighter chapter this one. More of Clara and the Doctor._

* * *

 **I Shouldn't**

Clara laughed as the Doctor told her his story of an incident that happened at the last school he worked at. It surprised her about how natural it seemed. She felt like it was good that she was laughing as hard as she was. And it was the Doctor making her do that.

She just felt so carefree with him. It scared her slightly.

She was glad that she could have the time that they were in school together. She hoped that she could keep the balance of school and home right. What John didn't know, wouldn't hurt him and that was the way that she had to think about the situation, otherwise she would allow herself to be filled with guilt when she knew that she had nothing to feel guilty about.

The Doctor cleared his throat as their laughter died down. "Clara. Question."

"Go ahead."

"Why have I been told by Adrian and Danny to stay away from you?"

She couldn't lie, she had been waiting for the question. She had spoken to Adrian once she had found out that he had said something to him and told him that it wasn't his place to say anything. She liked the Doctor. She liked the way he would speak freely to her. The moment he knew or suspected what was happening to her, he would be like every other person in the staff room and treat her either like glass or stay as far away from her as possible. She hadn't realised Danny had said anything as well.

"My … my husband is a little bit protective of me."

"A little bit?" The Doctor questioned, looking at her. "Danny said that he was almost beaten up by him..."

"That is an exaggeration." Clara spoke over him. She knew it was. He only managed to get in a few punches.

"...The only thing that stopped him was you…."

"I wasn't going to stand back and allow Danny or John to get hurt."

"… One of the teachers even confirmed that he told Danny to keep his grubby little hands off you. Or something to that description."

"John just likes to remain in control." That was the only reason he did what he did. John felt like he was losing her, even though he wasn't.

"Coming from the control freak."

Clara stopped walking. No one had called her a control freak before. Was she a control freak?

Maybe she could have been after her mother died but not now. Definitely not now. If anyone was a control freak, it was John.

"I am not a control freak."

"Yes ma'am." He said jokingly.

A smile spread across his face and she matched it. She was still angry at him for calling her a control freak but the fact that she was just trying to control what she could in her work life made her wonder if he was correct.

"Anyway, there is a difference between losing control and being an idiot."

"Look, I don't want to talk about it. If anything they are looking out more for me than you. I am sure nothing will happen to you."

"Is that why you have stopped texting me?"

She felt all her defences come up at once. "You said question. I have answered your question. Just stay out of my life. It is mine and I can also chose who I want to text and who I don't text. Alright?" She shouted at him before storming off.

* * *

The more Clara thought over the conversation she had with the Doctor, the more she realised that there was definitely a different way that she could have gone about it. She could have just told him yes and that John only went for Danny because he thought that she was having an affair with him.

She could have told him the truth and she was sure that he would have understood.

With parent's evening that night, she knew that everyone would stay behind to either help set up or to get some marking done or just getting their notes together. The Doctor was still in his room when Clara had finished her marking. She took the opportunity to make two cups of teas, one for her and for him.

She pushed open his door. "Knock, knock." She said, echoing what he had done to her. "Peace offering." She held up the tea to him.

He gave her a smile before nodded his head, telling her to come in.

Clara handed him one. "I think that is the one that is more sugar than tea."

"Sweet tooth."

"That was noticeable."

They fell into silence. Clara sipped on her tea just to make some noise.

"I am sorry I was so defensive earlier."

"It is one way to make someone worry that something is up." The Doctor looked up at her. "You can talk to me."

She took a deep breath. "He has asked me to stay away from you. He says that he doesn't trust you because you are like every lonely man. He won't believe me that it is just friendship."

She let it sink in. She watched him open his mouth but didn't allow him to speak.

"In John's eyes, I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be talking to you. I shouldn't even make eye contact with you, probably. He just … I can't do that to you. I want to be your friend."

"You are making it hard."

"I know."

"Come on Mrs Smith, we have parents to see." He said, getting up out of his chair.

Clara watched him go before slipping off the desk she was sat on. It was a start. Little steps.

* * *

They had come to some sort of agreement. They would only talk about John when Clara brought him up. It was probably better that way. While that was happening, Clara was trying to work out how she could tell him everything that was happening. She couldn't tell her dad about it, how was she going to talk to someone that she had met only a few weeks ago.

"Clara, it is dark. Are you sure you want to walk home?" The Doctor asked.

She pulled her coat around herself as they stepped out of the school. "Maybe you're right."

"Look I can drop you where I dropped you last time."

Clara nodded before taking her place in the passenger seat.

She blamed it on the fact that she had been thinking about him most of the day. She blamed it on the fact that he was telling her another story. She blamed it on the fact that he was handsome for his age. She blamed it on the fact that she did feel safe with him. She blamed it on the fact that he had stopped the car and turned to look at her.

It was like in a movie, it just didn't seem like it would happen in real life. By the time her brain had caught up with her action, the Doctor had also come out of shock and had started kissing her back. Clara pulled back, keeping her hand on his cheek.

"I am so sorry." She said before removing her hand and picking up her bags as quickly as she could, getting out of the car in a hurry.

She was quite glad that he hadn't said anything and just let her go, driving off as soon as she started walking down the road.

Her thoughts immediately turned to the man waiting for her at home. She had kissed another man. How was she going to lie her way through that?


	8. The Mess

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _So Clara seems to be in a bit of a pickle. Shall we see how it will pan out?_

* * *

 **The Mess**

Clara couldn't believe the mess that she had got herself into. She had waited for John to say something from the moment she entered the house that evening to the moment she left again the next morning. She was sure that if he did say anything that she would have told him. Luckily, he didn't say a word and luckily, Clara hadn't seen the Doctor yet that morning.

The problem was that she didn't want the Doctor to get hurt because of her but she didn't know how much longer she could keep it from John.

She listened to her students conversations as they left her room to try and think of something other than the mess she had made.

Not only had she done something that John was prepared to beat someone up over, she had made a mess of the friendship that she had with the Doctor. Her life was already a mess with how John was but this … she couldn't see a way out of it.

 _What have you got yourself into Oswald?_

"Come in." She said as there was a knock on her door. She tried to muster up a smile as she turned to the door.

"Not avoiding me are you?"

Clara looked up at the Doctor. She didn't actually know how to answer the question.

"Look ..." He started.

"We shouldn't be friends any more. Last night … Last night, I crossed a line and it was unacceptable that I did that to you." She stood up and made her way towards the door to leave.

The Doctor hadn't moved far from the door and reached out, grabbing hold of her arm to stop her from leaving. Clara froze and pulled it out of his grip. They stood there, looking at each other for a moment. He took a step closer to her. He raised his hand to move her fringe out of the way of her eyes but dropped his hand as she flinched.

"What has he done to you?" He whispered.

She hated crying about it. She didn't want to cry about it. Just the Doctor, whispering that to her set her off and she didn't feel like she could stop. He brought her towards him, into a hug. The man that she would hug because he had stated that he didn't like them.

She heard the door close before he brought her close to him.

"Everything will be okay. I've got you."

Clara couldn't help but feel some sort of comfort from those words.

* * *

"Are you sure this isn't your tea?" She said after she took a sip.

"No, I think you are in need of a sugary cup of tea. It does well for the shock."

"I don't think I am in shock."

"Well, I just think you need it." He sipped on his tea. "Are you going to tell him?"

"Doctor, I wouldn't just be crying over it if he knew. You would know if he knew."

"I shouldn't have just allowed you to get out the car last night."

"No it was probably best that I did."

"Everything is good between us, you know."

"I could guess that." She took another sip of her tea. "You really take too much sugar."

The Doctor opened his mouth but allowed a few moments of silence before he began to talk.

"Just talk to me Clara. Nobody can help you unless we know what is happening. We can help."

"What? Tell you how every time I walk home, I wonder what mood he will be in. How I hope … pray that he has managed to find something to occupy his mind. That I hope he looks at the jobs that I have printed out that I think might suit him."

"Maybe not exactly like that but maybe that is a start."

Clara sighed.

"Everything will be okay." The Doctor tried to reassure her again.

* * *

John was suspicious. He believed he had every right to be suspicious. Something was up with Clara and, as her husband, he had a right to find out what it was. Usually he would ask her and she would eventually spill to him but even he knew that she had got a better liar since … his change of employment status.

There had been many times when he life was weird and wild but this was really the icing on the cake. Just Clara couldn't realise that he couldn't just adjust as well as she had want him to. It was his dream job. It was the only thing he had wanted to do since she had helped him see that he could do whatever he wanted.

He watched Clara and an older gentleman leave the school. He watched them as they continued to chat, stopping by one of the cars. This wasn't the first time he had done this. He knew all the staff that left those doors. John didn't recognise him. Clara had mentioned that there had only been one new member of staff at the beginning of the year.

The Doctor.

So that was the man trying to steal his wife away from him. John smiled. It was really no competition. That Danny was competition. The Doctor was an old man. Clara was old enough to be his daughter. There was no way that she would leave him for that.

Still, he needed to know that Clara was his. John clenched his fists as Clara hugged him before walking off, on her way home. He saw the Doctor's sly smile before he unlocked his car and placed his bags in the back.

John looked down the road to make sure that Clara was out of sight before he entered the playground. The Doctor still had his back to him. Part of him was screaming at him to stop and just go home. Part of him was screaming at him that Clara would hate him if he did what he was going to do. Part of him was screaming at him that, just for once, it could be friendship.

That part of him might be screaming at him, but he didn't have to listen, did he?


	9. Punch Up

_Thank you for the reviews_

 _So shall we see what has happened?_

* * *

 **Punch Up**

"Hey, I'm back." Clara shouted as she entered the lounge. She was surprised not to see John there, so went to look in the kitchen.

"John?" She shouted.

She hoped that he was out for a good reason. She hoped that he was doing something productive. She hoped that he might go back to the person that he once was. The man she fell in love with. A smile grew on her face. Maybe it was all worth it in the end. She loved John.

She turned back to the kitchen and started to make dinner for them both. Even if he had just been down to the job centre, it would help. Just for him to start thinking about getting another job would help. Or even him thinking about retraining. He was always great with children.

Clara tried to keep with the positive thoughts as he wasn't back when she had finished dinner. She put his in the oven to keep it warm and sat down to eat hers, a pile of essays to keep her company.

She kept smiling as she saw the progress of her students, feeling really proud of some of them, even having to look twice at the name at the top. She knew that this was why she became a teacher. She knew that they would all have to leave Coal Hill with at least a C in English. She knew the reward of watching them open up their results to cheer as they got the results they needed to go on to collage or whatever they wanted to do. That was the reward for the hours of marking and frustration. Their happiness. Making sure that they could make their dreams come true.

The next time she looked at the clock, it was just gone 10pm. Now she was starting to worry. Her earlier hopes that he was off to get another job were slowly being replaced with other thoughts.

John never left the house. He felt like he couldn't. She knew that he thought that he felt like a failure. Maybe she didn't truly understand the pressure that he had put himself under. They even got their shopping delivered because of it.

Clara tried to put John out of mind for a little while long as she went back to her essays. Once she had finished them, she tidied up the kitchen. She sat down and watched so telly, something she felt like she hadn't done for a while. At the back of her mind was John and what he was doing.

She had tried his phone, only to find it ringing in the kitchen.

It got to one in the morning when Clara realised that she should probably got to bed. She just hoped that nothing had happened to him. John was one to do stupid things, she usually grounded him, talking him out of it. She sighed as she turned off the television before starting to walk up the stairs. She stopped when she heard the door unlock.

She sat down on the stairs as she waited for him to come in.

John walked in before looking up to see her. He smiled at her, like he hadn't realised what he had done wrong. He climbed the stairs before taking her face in his hands and kissing her.

"Where have you been?" Clara said as he helped her up and started to walk her up the stairs.

"It doesn't matter." He said, going back in for another kiss.

"It does. John, it is one in the morning. I have been worried sick about where you have been. You left your phone at home. I had no idea where you were or what you were doing."

She gave him a little push, which cause him grab the banister. She opened her mouth to finish what she was saying when she saw his bruising knuckles. She took his hand into her own.

"John, what happened? Please say you didn't get into a fight. It looks swore." She tried to get past him to get him into the kitchen so that they could put some ice on it.

"It doesn't matter. And you don't need to worry yourself." He took his hand out of hers, so he could hold her face again. "It is fine. Just someone that needed to be taught a lesson."

John kissed her again. There was something about the whole situation that didn't sit right with her but she allowed herself to be taken over by the moment and her husband. She was still worried but she hoped that this once, he was telling her the truth and it was nothing for her to worry about.

* * *

Clara had thought about what happened when she got home yesterday as she walked to work that morning. If anything, she would have just like John to tell her where he went. Part of her worried that she would find out what had happened when she got to work. She tried not to think about the negatives.

It wasn't until break time when she realised that her suspicion that something had happened was correct. She had seen the Doctor's car when she walked in that morning but didn't see him. She didn't really think much of it.

When she heard a few students talking about him as she walked to the staff room, she decided to go and see him. She had not really prepared herself for what she saw.

"Oh my stars." She said as she stood in the doorway.

The Doctor just sighed before looking back down at the book he was marking. She could still see the black eye and the bruise on his chin.

"What happened?" She asked as she placed a cup on his table.

"I was jumped last night just after you left. Then I believe the same guy followed me home and tried to have another go. I did fight him off both times but … I just don't know why."

Clara sighed heavily. She could feel the tears forming in her eyes.

"Clara?"

"John wasn't home last night when I got home. He got in at one this morning."

"Do you think it was him?"

"For both our sakes, I hope it isn't."

She really hope it wasn't John.

But then it would explain how he was last night. The way he took her into their bedroom and worshipped her body, something he hadn't done for a while.

No, it wasn't John but there was no harm in asking him, was there?


	10. Can't

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _God, I remember this chapter. This is where I started to wonder why I wrote this story._

 _All the bits in italics are flashbacks for this chapter._

 _God this chapter._

 _I am sorry. (I will be saying this a lot from here on.)_

* * *

 **Can't**

To say that the talk with John didn't go well would have been an understatement. It went disastrously. The only good thing of it was that she did get a confession out of him. Whether the confession was worth it, she was still yet to see.

She pulled her coat closer to her as she walked slowly to school. She had left earlier than she usually would have done but didn't want to get to school any earlier. She was trying to avoid the two men in her life at the moment.

The problem was, all she could thinking about what the things that John had said to her.

" _Yes! I admit it! It hit him." He shouted at her._

" _You had no right."_

" _He had no right to try and steal my wife away."_

" _It is only friendship." Clara shouted, feeling her rage fill her up._

" _Still. Anyway, he isn't a threat. He just needed to be taught a lesson. You are my wife. You are mine."_

" _Oh my stars, John. I know that. He knows that. I can be friends with whoever I want without having to get your permission."_

 _Clara started to walk towards the stairs when he grabbed her wrist._

 _She cried out in pain. "Let me go."_

Clara shook her head before pulling the sleeves of her jumper down over her hands. She really needed to find the time to go to the chemists and get some more arnicare. The stuff was magic. Even if it just made the bruises look better than they were.

The problem was, she was now thinking about last night. She knew that she would be thinking about last night all day now. She didn't want to. She just had to hide it. Hide it from the world again. No one else had to know.

" _You're hurting me." She said as he pulled her closer to him, tightening his grip on her._

" _Do as you are told. Break your friendship with the Doctor. If it is only friendship, it won't matter. I don't want you talking to him again. Do you understand?"_

Clara hadn't realised that she had arrived at the school until she was standing in the corridor, the Doctor looking down towards her. He smiled at her but she just couldn't find in herself to smile back. What did she have to smile about?

His smile dropped and was replaced with a look of worry, his eyebrows doing most of the talking. He started to walk towards her.

She just shook her head at him and he stopped. He knew what she meant. She didn't want to. She stared at him before shaking her head at him again and heading towards the staff room.

* * *

It hadn't left her mind. It wasn't the first argument not to leave her and she was sure that it wouldn't be the last. She had told Adrian everything that had happened and he just looked more worried than he usually did. Danny had even said the most that he had since John attempted to beat him up. She forgot how much she missed talking to him, like she knew how much she would miss speaking to the Doctor.

It was best for both of them. Not only had she got hurt over it, he had as well. She hadn't meant to drag him into it but he had been, now it was about time she got him out of the hole. He didn't need to be in there with her.

She was glad that the staff room was empty. She took her time to make her tea. She didn't want to go back to her classroom just yet. All the marking she didn't get done last night, because of the argument, was there to be done.

"Clara?" The Doctor said gently.

It still made her jump. In that moment, she had realised that she had been crying. She pulled her jumper down and wiped her eyes with it.

"Doctor."

"You know, pushing me away isn't the thing to do. They may have stayed away and left you alone to burden it all yourself. I'm not. I'm not going to leave you. I'm not staying away."

"For your own well-being you should."

"I am old Clara."

"And that is probably why he doesn't see you as a threat." She paused. "We can't be friends. I am not allowing you to get hurt because of me."

"And you think just you getting hurt is better. Look, we will find a way."

Clara shook her head. "I won't put you through this." She finished stirring her tea before leaving the spoon on the side and leaving for her classroom.

As soon as she sat down, she started crying again. She wanted to shout why it went so wrong, why John had to become the man he was. She knew that this person wasn't John. It was boredom. He wasn't using his brilliant mind and it was just trying to find something else to fill it with.

She would remember the drawings and equations he used to write on little bits of paper when he had his job. His mind never stopping, not for one moment. She would remember waking up in the middle of the night, just to find him downstairs, completing the equation he just couldn't quite solve earlier.

She would be the one to bake and do little things to try and coax him away from his work, even if it was just for a moment.

A wonderful, beautiful mind. And it was being wasted.

Clara wished she could come up with all the answers. She wished that she could help her husband. She wished that she could put that wonderful, beautiful mind to use. She wished that John was the John that she knew and had fallen in love with.

John wasn't John. John was just a man, with great intelligence, being taken over by boredom.

There was no need for the Doctor to get himself involved. There was no need for anyone else to get involved. It was a mess that had happened, and they just needed to finally get it sorted out. Then John would be John again.

It was the little hope that Clara clung onto. John would be John again one day, and hopefully sooner rather than later.


	11. Please Clara

_Thank you for the reviews._

* * *

 **Please Clara**

 _At least someone's happy._ Clara thought as John kissed her cheek before she left to go to work.

John had been a lot happier when Clara told him that he had got what he wanted and she had broken her friendship with the Doctor. She hadn't spoken to him for a couple of weeks and only gave him small smiles as they passed in the corridors. He hadn't made any attempts to speak to her, which she was glad of.

Just Clara never realised how lonely she felt.

She had come to realise that the Doctor, even if it was just talking to him, made everything seem like it was alright. Her life just didn't seem the same. She couldn't remember the last time she didn't fear going home before the Doctor turned up. It just felt like it wasn't just her and John in the world any more. There was more to her life than just going to work to go home again.

Clara wrapped her coat tighter around herself.

But her life had gone back to that and with the Christmas holiday's approaching, she was dreading it even more with everyday. She already had her Christmas work sorted out from the place that she worked for the last few years. They always loved seasonal staff and it helped top up her wage packet.

Adrian joined her as she entered the school.

"I would ask you if you were looking forward to the holidays but I think I already know what you answer is going to be. The same as every year?"

"I think it gets worse every year."

"Are you coming to the Christmas party?"

She sighed.

"Shall I take that as a no?"

"I don't know."

"You could bring John, if it would make it easier."

"I really don't think that is a good idea."

"John didn't jump the Doctor, did he?"

Clara knew her silence spoke for itself but she didn't know what to say. She could have lied and said no but Adrian knew knew pretty much everything that had happened.

"Is that why you haven't spoken to him since?"

"The only reason you are safe is because I have known you for so long. Danny got caught up in the mess I call my life and got hurt because of it. It is best if the Doctor gets out of it before something bad happens." She paused. "Also if I go to the Christmas party, I will be on my own. I can't put the whole staff room under the strain of if someone looks at me wrong, John will beat them up. I don't want that fear to spread."

"Clara, I do worry."

"I know Adrian."

"I know I tried to scare the Doctor away but you were happier when you were talking to him." He said before he left her.

Clara stopped in the corridor. His statement was so true but she couldn't see a way to make it possible.

* * *

The Doctor didn't know what to do when Clara entered the staff room with only him in there. It wasn't like he could just give her a smile as he walked out with his drink, the kettle was still boiling.

"Tea?" He asked, just out of politeness. He was sure he could offer her tea.

"Yes please." She said, when the kettle had boiled.

She walked and leant against the worktop and watched him as he made it. He handed it to after he had made it before picking up his to take to his classroom.

"Doctor." She said stopping him.

He turned back and looked at her. He had known her to look stronger and it made him angry to think that John could cause her so much fear. He walked over to the chairs placed there and watched as she joined him. He didn't know whether to speak first or wait for her.

"I've missed you." She said eventually.

"We have still seen each other."

"It isn't the same."

"No it hasn't been."

"I never realised how lonely I felt."

The Doctor looked up at her. What had John done to her? "I have missed you too."

Clara smiled at him. "It's seems that this hasn't been good for anyone except John. Even Adrian has noticed that I was better when I was talking to you."

"I don't wish to presume what has happened or what he is actually like."

"No, you probably don't."

"But he can't control everything. John can't control your home life and your work life. Maybe we just have to be more careful. We can be friends inside these four walls, just not outside of them. I know that you are trying to protect me and everyone else but who is there to protect you?"

She looked down at her tea and took a sip. "No one."

"Then let me protect you."

She didn't say anything.

"Please Clara. I hate to see you like this."

"We will have to be super careful."

"I understand."

"I don't want you to get hurt."

"And I don't want you to do this alone."

"I have missed you." Clara repeated.

"Come on then. I have a hidden stash of biscuits in my room."

She laughed at him.

"What? I don't want them all eating all of my biscuits before I even have the chance to have one. I had to learn that they hard way."

"They were yours?"

"You had one?"

She smiled at him. "Maybe more than one. They were just there."

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "People. They were mine. Can't you buy your own?"

Just one conversation had made her feel better. It was like a weight had been lifted off of her that she didn't know she had put on herself. They would have to be careful but there was obviously nothing wrong with her being friends with the Doctor. She would just have to hid her change of mood from John, but that was nothing different.


	12. Christmas

_Thank you for the reviews._

* * *

 **Christmas**

Clara was not enjoying this night at all. When she mentioned about the staff Christmas party, she hoped that John would say he wouldn't come. The opposite happened and it took her a while to work out why he had said yes. He wanted to keep an eye on her and the Doctor. She had told the Doctor that he was coming and he had said that he would be keeping his distance from them.

Not what she wanted at all.

She wanted a night were she could just relax and feel carefree. She wanted to be able to speak to whoever she liked. She just wanted to have a bit of fun.

That was the opposite of what was happening. Adrian had come over to speak to them, but he was the only one that had done since they arrived.

Clara didn't want it to be this way.

"Another drink?" She said, just for something to say.

"Might as well." John said, sounding as bored as she was.

She left him where they were sitting. This is why she didn't want him to come. She shouldn't have let him know when it was. But then, how would she explain where she was going tonight without telling him that it was the Christmas party?

She smiled when she was joined by the Doctor at the bar.

"You look like your having fun." He said, sarcastically.

"That's why I didn't want him to come. I keep trying to make eye contact with Adrian so that he would come over again but I think he is avoiding me."

"Like the rest of the staff room."

"Please don't remind me."

"I can see why he likes Adrian. Do they have met ups about their bow tie collection?"

Clara giggled. "You're the first person to say that."

"Well, I never liked a bow tie or a tie all together."

The bartender comes over to them and turned to the Doctor first.

"Oh no, she was first."

"You are such a gentlemen." She said before she quickly ordered.

"I try." He sighed. "I probably should be standing here."

"You have kept your distance. It is what I asked you to do."

"Clara? Who is this then?"

Both of them turned to see John standing behind them.

"John, this is the Doctor. Doctor, this is John, my husband." She said, introducing them like they didn't know who the other one was.

The Doctor held out his hand. "So you are the lucky man. You are a bit like me. A man of physics."

John took the Doctor's hand, gripping it a bit tighter than her should have done. "It is my strong point."

The Doctor smiled at John, while the bartender placed their drinks on the bar. Clara paid him before handing John his drink. She actually felt embarrassed by the glare that John was giving the Doctor. It was bad enough that he jumped him.

* * *

It was bad enough that she had to have a second job to keep them going. It was worse that she had to serve some of her students and fellow colleagues.

"I thought you tutored." Adrian said.

"I did. John stopped liking that after a while."

"I am sure you would get more money for tutoring."

"I did argue that. You know, I do know that it isn't ideal."

"Can't John get another job?"

"Adrian, as much as you think you are helping, do you not think that I have already thought of everything?"

"Have you thought about leaving him?"

"We have talked about this."

"No but truthfully, have you thought about leaving him?"

Clara remained silent as she finished scanning through his items.

"Your silence speaks for itself."

"Yes, I have thought about it. Every time I think about it, I come home the next day and he is a completely different man, close to the one that I fell in love with. It makes me doubt myself. It makes me think that maybe he isn't as bad as I think, maybe we will get through this. Then he does something else that makes me question it again."

"Do you not think that your instinct might be right? How many people does he have to beat up before you realise that he is toxic?"

She told him how much it came to and took the money off of him.

"One day I might find away out of it but I don't know when that day is and I fear it is already too late."

* * *

It was later on in the day when she saw the one person she hoped that she would never see in her second job. She smiled at the woman as she told her how much her shopping came to, trying to keep her back to the Doctor. Did he really have to shop here?

She turned to him with a big smile on her face. "Hi."

The Doctor looked up at her with a frown. "What are you doing here?"

Clara pointed towards her name badge. "I am happy to help."

If anything, he looked disappointed. Maybe he hoped that her situation wasn't as bad as it was. She started to scan through his items.

"Is John an alcoholic?"

"He drinks from time to time."

"But your pay check isn't covering everything?"

"For making sure that the future generation has the best start we can give them in life, we are paid very low for it."

"Clara, you have a second job."

She looked up at him. "I have had this very conversation with Adrian earlier."

"You shouldn't be put under this sort of pressure. You have to make sure that there is enough money to keep you both a float. That is as bad as the things he has done to you."

She sighed. "I can't just make him get up and get a job. I want him to work. I am sure if he was working, putting his mind to some use, then he wouldn't be the man that he is. But he lost his dream job. If I lost my job, I could go to another school and teach."

"There is a lot of things you can do with a physics degree." He sighed before mumbling. "I wouldn't put you under that pressure."

They both looked at each other. The Doctor was shocked that he had actually said that. He looked to the screen before getting out his wallet and paying. Clara watched him as he left. What did he mean by that?


	13. Pretty Woman

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _*Starts humming* Pretty woman, walking down the street_

* * *

 **Pretty Woman**

Even though Clara wasn't looking forward to the Christmas break, she managed to feed of everyone else's excitement for the holidays. She smiled as she watched her students talk about what they were hoping to get from Christmas or opening presents from their friends.

There wasn't much happening in the classes as well. The students didn't want to do work and half the teachers couldn't be asked to make them do the work. Clara was one of these. They could learn more from a film than they probably would from a book. Just because she liked a good book, didn't mean her students did.

"Please Sir. It is great fun."

She turned to look down the hallway to see the Doctor surrounded by a group of students. She knew what they were asking him. She had exactly the same conversation as the one he was having now. She smiled to herself as she walked over to save him.

"Come on guys. Leave him alone." She said when she reached them.

"Miss, we only asking the Doctor if he was doing something for the talent show." One of them said.

"It is a tradition that new teacher has to do something." Another of the said.

"I know full well what you were asking as I was once a new teacher here and there is no such tradition. Come on, I am sure you have better things to do."

They all looked at each other before they left. Clara shook her head at them.

"Don't do it."

"I sound like it might be fun." The Doctor said as they started to walk towards the staff room.

"They just want someone to laugh at for the rest of the year."

"I don't mind. I have basically been asked by everyone as to whether I am going to do it or not. Some of the other teachers have said that it is a tradition."

"Are you really that gullible? I can assure you, they are looking for someone to laugh at."

"And I can assure you that I will probably be having the last laugh."

"What are you going to make them all disappear or something?"

He turned to her. "What?"

"Make them disappear. I mean you do look like a magician in that coat. Is that your special talent?"

The Doctor looked down at himself. "I give off magician. I suppose it could be worse."

Clara giggled. "Go on then. Tell me what you are going to do to make sure you are the one laughing afterwards?"

He raised his eyebrow at her. "That is for me to know and for you to find out. And I can assure you that I doubt you could guess."

"No, please tell me."

"Nope."

Clara followed him into the staff room. She was determined to find out what he was going to do before the talent show. She was sure that she could bribe it out of him.

* * *

She hadn't managed to get it out of him. Part of her thought that it was a good idea. She knew how boring these things could get. It usually ended up being filled with dancing and bad jokes. The hall was quite full, even though it wasn't necessary for everyone to be there.

Clara leant against the wall at the back.

"Looking forward to this?" Adrian asked her when he joined her.

"No, it doesn't go on long enough."

"It is the start of the Christmas break. Two weeks off. You love Christmas."

She turned to Adrian. "Do you really think I enjoy Christmas any more? I just put on a smile for the kids. I hate Christmas. It is just full of arguments and me going between wishing John would kick off in front of my dad and wishing John won't kick off in front of my dad."

"Sorry." He said.

"I did love Christmas and the day comes round and I find so many reasons to love it again. Last year, I almost told my dad."

"What stopped you?"

"John." She looked towards the floor as the lights went off.

She waited for the music, for the bad jokes. Instead there was a screech of a guitar before the intro to Pretty Woman was played. Clara looked up to see the Doctor standing on stage, playing the electric guitar. He looked ridiculous standing up there with a loose fitting pink t-shirt, a hoodie, his usually coat and with a pair of sunglasses on.

He managed to tip the sunglasses forward and looked over them at her. She had no idea that was what he was going to do. He stopped play for a moment to slide the sunglasses back up he nose before changing the song to some other melody. The students started cheer as he finished up, Clara was still in some sort of shock before she started to clap.

It was the end of the second act when the Doctor joined her.

"That was amazing."

"I did say I would have the last laugh. I doubt many people was expecting that."

"I definitely wasn't." She turned and looked at him. "I would never had had you down as someone that could play the guitar."

"It is a trick from my youth. At uni, I was in a band. We obviously didn't get too far because I doubt I would be standing next to you at this moment talking about it if we did."

"Okay, you had the last laugh. You did Pretty Woman and then another melody. I couldn't recognise what it was."

"You wouldn't have. I wrote it myself."

She smiled up at him. "You are more talented than I thought. What was it called?"

He hesitated for a moment. "I think it is called Clara."

Instead of feeling her smile drop, she felt it widen. He had either written it for her, about her or because of her. She felt honoured to be his inspiration. At least that's how she took it.


	14. Back Again

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _I am sorry if this feels like I am rushing this story but in 2 weeks time, I will finish uni and start revising. The last thing I need is distractions. And at times this becomes a distraction. I want this story to be finished before I start hardcore revising and the only way I can do that is if I start posting daily. That is a good thing because you will be getting quicker updates and something to read everyday. I just don't want anyone to think I am rushing it. I worked out the other day that I will have to get 70% in each of my modules to get the grade of degree I want. I need to get my head down and at the moment, that isn't particularly happening._

 _Sorry for the long explanation._

* * *

 **Back Again**

She preferred warmer weather. She preferred feeling the sun's heat against her skin. She preferred brightness of summer.

But at this moment in time, Clara couldn't be more grateful for the colder weather.

Christmas had just led to more arguments that she was never going to win. He would always try and find a way to twist her words. She knew that half the things that she said was correct but to him, they weren't. The Doctor had come up in one of them and she had to stop herself from screaming at him that they were just friends or worse, that she did fancy him.

She pulled down the sleeves of her jumper as she got closer to the staff room. It was the only way that she could think of hiding everything.

Clara was so relieved that the Christmas break was only about two weeks. It had been a long two weeks but the smile that the Doctor gave her as he handed her a cup of tea made it all worth it. She had missed him.

"Should I be worried about you too? Keeping tabs on me."

He laughed. "No, you just usually come into the staff room roughly the same time everyday and the first thing you do is make a cup of tea. I just try and cut out the time you have to wait for the kettle to boil."

"What about the days that I am late?" She asked.

"Then I put more sugar in yours and have two cups of tea." He took a sip of his. "I would ask how your Christmas was but I could probably guess."

"You probably could."

"Clara."

"The days leading up to Christmas is nice. He seems to calm down and be like his old-self. It is actually quite nice. It just reminds me why I fell in love with him in the first place. But then I remember why he is like that. We had Christmas at home. My dad, step-mum and gran came down this year. The stress of cooking takes over and we seem to fall into the same routine. I hide the damage from them and John spends as much time as he can looking like the doting husband that everyone thinks he is." Clara sighed. "Is it okay that I am sick of it?"

"Yes. I know I said I wouldn't and I know I shouldn't mention it but why do you stay with John?"

"Do you really think he would let me go that easily? I don't want to put him, myself or anyone else in that sort of danger. You know what he is capable of. He is a lot stronger than he looks."

The Doctor just gave her a small smile.

* * *

She could deal with the unruly kids. Their chatter helped drown out her thoughts and the lack of will to do the work set made her have something else to think about than her home life.

Clara loved her job. She was sure that she wouldn't want to work anywhere else than Coal Hill.

She tried not to smile as she told them to quieten down and that they would go through the questions that she had set. She knew that her students seemed to learn more off of each other than her. She didn't take it as a criticism, some of their ideas were good.

The class ended quicker than Clara would have liked. The bell rung loud as it signalled the end of the day. She watched the students as they stuffed their work into their bags before almost running out of the door.

She wished that she could be as enthusiastic about going home as they were. She was once. There was a time where she couldn't wait to get back home to John. She wanted that feeling to return. She hadn't given up on him like everyone else had. The John she knew and loved was still there, it was just reaching him.

Clara slowly started to put all her papers together before she started to tidy her classroom. The longer she stayed at school, the less time she had to deal with him.

"Clara?"

She spun around to see the Doctor standing in the door.

"Was it really that bad?"

Clara sighed as she sat down on one of the tables. She played with the paper in her hand.

"I almost told my dad. I almost told him that John wasn't the man that he thought he was any more. I wanted to tell him. I also wanted to scream at John. I wanted to scream at him that I could have better than him, that I didn't want to live this way any more."

The Doctor moved a few chairs out the way to sit on the table opposite her. His bag hit against the table as he sat down.

"I can understand why you didn't say what you wanted to John but why didn't you tell your dad?"

"Because of the questions that would follow. Why I didn't tell him before? What has he done to me? How long has it gone on for? Why have I only told him about it now? What did I want him to do about it? Did I want to go to back to Blackpool with them to get away from him?" She paused. "I know I could have better."

"Clara ..." He started.

"No, shut up. I have always been scared of him. Worried about what he would do or say if I ever stopped loving him and started loving someone else. I still love him. I know the man that I love is there somewhere but I just can't see him any more. I haven't just tried to distance myself because John asked me to. I distanced myself because … because of you. I have never given a man a second glance or thought or even a first thought, until you. And it scares me to bits."

"Oh, Clara." He said as he stood up to bring her into a hug. "Clara, Clara, Clara."

He held her as she cried into his chest. He really didn't know what to say to her to make her feel better. Her statement probably should have shocked him as much as it did but it did. He never wanted her love, it was already given to someone else. Maybe he could be the one to get her away from her situation.

He rested his chin on the top of her head as he held her close.


	15. The Inspection

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _Right so I had this idea at work (where I have most of my ideas), so this chapter could be seen as a little bit of light relief._

* * *

 **The Inspection**

"Right, I will see you later." Clara said as she put her bag on her shoulder and picked up the files on the table.

She was ready for today, for the inspection. She knew she had to make a good impression. She had planned a quite interactive lesson in some hope that it would also allow her students to calm down about it all as well. It was also a good way to get ideas going for the essay she was going to set them for their homework.

John grabbed her arm just before she left.

"John, I need to go or otherwise I will be late. It 's the ofsted inspection." She argued when he wouldn't let her go.

"I don't care."

"Please, John. Not now. I really need to go."

He bent down and kissed her, holding her closer to him. She managed to keep a hold on her files but used her free hand to bring it up around his neck. She tried to keep his lips on hers when he started to wonder but was unsuccessful. She really didn't know what he was getting out of what he was doing. She tried her best to push him away when he started to suck on her neck. This really wasn't the time. When he did finally let her go, he grabbed her upper arm and pulled her over to the door.

"Well, you wanted to go." He said.

Clara didn't think about arguing with him. She grabbed her coat as she left.

* * *

She cursed John all the way from their front door to the door of her classroom. Not only had it made her late, she was sure that a love bite had formed on her neck. What a great impression to make on the inspector.

"I am sorry I am late." She shouted over them as she entered the room and placed her thing down on the table. She looked up to start teaching when she saw the woman at the back.

"Oh, carry on as if I wasn't here." The woman said.

Clara took a deep breath before she started with her plan. Jane Austin, something she knew about. She started to talk about the chapter that they had been reading before she asked for any ideas about the themes that the book had portrayed so far. Her eyes caught the inspector as she listen to one of her students as he explained what he thought. All she could see was her writing and she prayed it was nothing bad.

* * *

"Knock, knock." The Doctor said as he entered the room.

He watched Clara lift her head off of the desk.

"Here." He handed her one of the teas in his hands.

"Thanks."

"I guess you have already had your inspection."

"God, it was awful. She just sat there, constantly writing. I didn't know that she had that much that she could say about me. I mean it probably didn't help that I was late."

"John?"

Clara nodded.

"Well I could tell because of … well." He said pointing to his neck.

She grabbed her bag and looked in to find her phone. She held it up to see the hickey. She groaned as she placed her head back on the table.

"I hoped it wasn't that bad."

"I have a packet of shortbread in my classroom if that helps."

Clara lifted up her head. "A time machine would be more helpful."

The Doctor smiled at her. "Come on. Everything can be made better with a cup of tea and a good biscuit."

She picked up her tea as he went to leave her classroom. She just needed to put it behind her. Maybe her teaching would make up for the lateness and hickey.

* * *

Clara had totally and utterly written the day off. It was just a bad day that she needed to be a good day. It just so happened that it was the day that John wished to show his dominance over her. Maybe he thought that the inspector would be a man.

She was surprised to see the Doctor and the inspector talking. He waved her over.

"Clara, this is Missy." He said when she reached them.

"Missy? Do you two know each other?" Clara asked.

"We have known each other for a very long time, haven't we John? We went to school together, from primary through secondary and then he went and left me to go to university."

Clara turned to the Doctor. "John? Your name is John?"

"John Smith. Why? What do you call him?"

The Doctor shrugged at her and Clara started to laugh.

"I can understand why you never told me."

"It is rather common." The Doctor said.

"Don't worry, you are the Doctor to me. Plus it would get a little confusing. Imagined if I introduced you to my John like that. Hey John, this is John Smith." She said, trying to make a joke of it.

"I suppose it would get confusing."

"Also don't worry about this morning. You did fine." Missy told her.

Clara felt like a big weight had been lifted off of her. At least she had done fine. The Doctor smiled at her as she sighed. He knew that she had been worrying about it.

"I mean, I did have my concerns. I had been told that your first inspection didn't go to plan."

"My first inspection was in my first week of working here and this was my first job." She turned to the Doctor. "I couldn't control the class first off."

"It is something that you learn, you can't be taught it." He said.

"Anyway, I should be getting on. I have more class to be inspecting. It is nice to see you again John." She said, patting the Doctor's chest.

He just smiled at her while Clara could feel herself feeling jealous. She didn't know what she had to be jealous about. It wasn't like she was going out with the Doctor and Missy was just an old school friend. It meant nothing but she just couldn't shake the feeling.


	16. Fight

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _Another chapter that makes me wonder why I wrote this fic._

* * *

 **Fight**

"You're having an affair." John shouted at her.

Clara stopped from storming out. This morning had been bad. In his eyes, she hadn't done a single thing right. She just wanted to leave and go to work and sort it out when she got home.

"You are insane." She shouted back at him. "And you better be careful. I might not bail you out the next time you go and beat up my 'lover'."

"You were having an affair with Danny."

"I wasn't." She threw her bags down onto the sofa before walking calmly towards him. She gave him a kiss. "John, you are the only man I have ever wanted and will ever want."

He looked as though he had calm down by her statement. She was glad that he had believed it because she wasn't sure she believed it any more. She forgot how quickly he could change. He went from smiling at her to grabbing her wrists and looking more serious.

"Then why do you keep defying me? Huh?" He said.

He was going to try the guilt trip now.

"What do you mean?" She said, trying to ignore how tight his grip was.

"The Doctor."

"It's only friendship." She wanted him to let her go.

"No it's more than that."

"John, it's only friendship. You are becoming paranoid again."

"But you are attracted to him."

"He's probably around the same age as my dad. Even if I was, he is too old for me. He wouldn't be you either."

She wondered if she should have said the last part. The way he was looking at her meant that he was weighing up what she was saying. Clara opened her mouth to tell him once more that it was only friendship but thought better of it. It was hard to shake John off of an idea once he had it. She would just have to pick what she said carefully.

He surprised her by letting her go.

"Go on then. Get to work."

Clara was a bit confused and slowly turned to pick up her bags. She was expecting him to do something right up to when she opened the porch door.

"Clara, you are going to go to work. You aren't going to speak to the Doctor and then you are going to come straight home. No messing about today. Come straight home after your last class."

She looked back at him and nodded. She shrugged on her coat before she left the house. She rubbed her wrists as she began her walk to school.

* * *

If she had her own choice, she wouldn't be home as early as she was now. But she thought she better do as he said. Maybe it would get him off the idea of her having an affair. Clara knew that Adrian and the Doctor was just curious about why she stayed with him but this was the reason why. She didn't feel like she could just up and leave him. Either he would find a way in stopping her or he would act like the man she married and then she would lose her nerve.

She sighed as she dropped her bags on the floor before kicking off her shoes. She said hello to him as she passed him on her way to the kitchen. She put on the kettle and waited for it to boil. She really wasn't in the mood when John came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. All she wanted was a cup of tea before she started her marking. She attempted to carry on her task but he stopped her.

"I have got things to do." Clara told him.

"Is it a crime to want to hold my wife?"

She felt his grip on her loosen slightly and managed to reach up to grab two cups before thinking about how she was going to get the milk.

"You can control my home life but you can't be controlling my work life. It isn't fair on me." She obviously just felt brave for a moment and with the Doctor's words floating around her mind.

John grip tightened on her again "I can and you will do as I ask. I know that you didn't today."

Clara wanted to know how he knew. She had just hoped that he had been spying on her again and not managed to recruit on of her colleagues to spy on her for him.

"It is a little hard not to speak to people that I work with. You do get the odd person who offers you a cup of tea or coffee or holds a door open for you or asks you for a favour. I can't just be by myself at work."

"Does the Doctor always make you tea?"

She had to make it sound as natural as possible. "He knows I am partial to a cuppa."

"But what does he get out of it?"

"What does that mean?"

"What does he get out of making you tea?"

"My thanks and company." Clara answered, unsure what to say.

It was obviously the wrong thing to say because he let her go. There was a change in the atmosphere and she was scared about the next thing that would fall out of his mouth.

"I need to go out." He said, taking a step back from her.

She didn't want to leave anything to chance so bolted from her stop to the porch door. She knew that it would make her look more guilty but she hoped that he wasn't going to do what she thought he was.

"Move out of the way." He said forcibly.

Clara shock her head. "You not going to hurt him again."

"Get out the way."

"He is just my friend. You can't scare away every friend I have."

"Watch me." He said as he grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the door.

Clara couldn't stop herself falling onto the floor. A sharp pain shot through her right wrist and she could stop herself from reacting to it. She looked up at John, expecting him to already to be gone. The look of worry that he was giving her made her see the man that she had married.

"John, please." She begged.

She shouldn't have said anything. The illusion that he was under faded and he opened the door to the porch, slamming it behind him. She heard exactly the same thing happen with the front door as well. The stress of the day joined the pain of her wrist and Clara could find the strength to get up or stop herself from crying.


	17. To Him

_Thank you for the reviews._

* * *

 **To Him**

There were a few things that worried her.

Firstly, John wasn't home when she woke up. After managing to get herself off the floor, she had gone straight to bed, not finding the energy to do much more than that. Her marking could wait. Her wrist was still hurting her and she wondered how she was going to write on the board. She was sure she would find a way around it.

Secondly, was that the Doctor's car wasn't parked in his usually spot. She had considered leaving earlier when she saw John wasn't home, as she wouldn't have to come with some lie as to why she was leaving early, but decided against it. She may have met him on the way to school and she didn't really want a shouting match in the streets. She arrived at the same time she would. For that reason, she hoped that nothing bad had happened.

Thirdly, she hadn't had a phone call. If something bad had happened and John had done what she had expected him to do, she would have thought that the Doctor or someone would have called the police, leading to her having to bail him out again. As of yet, that hadn't happened.

Clara stopped herself from wincing when she tried to pick up her mug. She quickly changed to her left hand. She knew by the look Adrian was giving her that he knew something had happened.

"Are you okay? And don't give me the 'I'm fine' rubbish." He asked.

"John accused me of having another affair yesterday." She said as calmly as she could.

Adrian closed his eyes.

"We argued in the morning and he told me to go to work and not talk to anybody and then to come home. I did as he asked." She dropped her voice to a whisper. "I think he might have someone in the school watching me for him."

"Who with this time?" He asked, even though she was sure he knew the answer.

"The Doctor."

"That's why you kept your distance for a while."

"He has asked me multiple times to break my friendship with the Doctor but I just can't. He is the only one to notice what is happening to me without having seen John beat up Danny." She sighed. "It was just nice to have someone who would still come up to me and speak to me, even after he knew."

"I suppose the next question is are you attracted to the Doctor?"

"No." She lied. "He is handsome but not my type. Anyway I am married. I do have some vows to keep."

"You know, if you tell yourself enough, it might become true." He said before leaving her.

* * *

Clara wasn't going to leave her classroom to go in search for the Doctor. She wanted to but couldn't find the strength to. She had called John paranoid yesterday but she felt as paranoid as him. What if he did have someone watching her?

She was actually happy to see him when he opened the door. The small scrape on his cheek automatically told her that what had happened did happen. He didn't say anything to her, just opened his arms up to her once he had shut the door. She had to stop herself from running into them. She felt him suck in a breath as she closed her arms tightly around him.

"Is everything okay?" She asked, looking up at him.

"Suspected broken rib or two. Nothing to go to hospital about. I would only be wasting their time and I don't want to be doing that." He paused. "John can throw a punch. I should probably report him for it."

"Please don't. I had enough questions last time I had to bail him out."

"Why didn't you tell them what has been happening?"

"Because when he phoned asking me to bail him out, he sounded so vulnerable and it was still at a point where it wasn't all the time. I thought he was just still going through a rough patch. They asked questions like had he ever hurt me and at that point he hadn't. They asked if he had a temper and he doesn't."

"Clara, how long has his rough patch lasted?"

She blinked at him. "About 2 years."

The Doctor pulled back and brought her right hand into his. He looked over it and moved it. She winced every time he moved it before she pulled it from his grip.

"What are you doing?"

He walked over towards the corner of the room. "Adrian mentioned this morning when I got in, that you had gone to pick up your tea with your right hand, winced and then picked it up with your left hand. With the wincing you were doing when I was moving it, it is hurting you." He returned with a bandage from the first aid kit. "It is only a fracture and should be alright if you keep it supported."

Clara looked up at him. "How do you know that?" She asked as he started to wrap it up.

"I am not just a doctor in physics. My first degree was in medicine. I thought it was what I wanted to do. I wanted to help people and make a difference. If I could save lives, then that was the biggest way I could contribute to society. Six years studying and then out of it for three before I went back to university. I think I liked the idea of being a doctor more than I liked actually being a doctor. You think this job is bad, you haven't seen anything yet. And that was back in the 80s."

She laughed. "Thank you." She said as he finished, bring it to her chest.

"I am going to be bold. You aren't going back home tonight."

"Doctor, I have to."

He shock his head at her. "No you don't and I won't allow you to go back to him. I have a spare room. You can stay with me." He took a step towards her, closing the gap between them. "I can't stand idle any more. I won't allow him to hurt you any more. I don't want to wait for you to come in to find you … for you to be more injured that you already are. Injuries that you can't hide. I don't want to come in and wait for you, for you to never be able to come to work again."

He was so close to her and the weight of what he had said hit her. Part of her wanted to walk back until she found a table to sit on. Instead she held on to him, bring him down towards her. She wanted to kiss him but went for a hug. He kissed her cheek and held her close to him.

Maybe she should take up his offer. She did always feel safe with him.


	18. Stay

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _So is Clara going to go home back to John or back with the Doctor?_

* * *

 **Stay**

Even when she had stepped into the Doctor's flat, she was still protesting that it wasn't a good idea. She had said it multiple times on the way to his.

"You know, if you really did think that it was a bad idea, you wouldn't be standing here, you wouldn't have got in my car, you wouldn't have been waiting for me by my car. You would already be at home, with him."

"I know. Just the more I think about it, the more I think something is going to go wrong. I mean he knows where you live and this will probably be the first place he would look for me."

"I can handle John if that is what you are worried about." He told her.

Clara allowed herself to relax. What he had said was true. If she thought that it was dangerous, she wouldn't be standing in his flat right now. She was quite glad that it was Friday as the spontaneous decision had left her with nothing to wear other than the clothes she had on at that moment. Another thing that she had mentioned to the Doctor to which he said that they would find a solution.

The Doctor had left her by the door and she could hear the kettle starting to boil. She made her way slowly down the hallway, not really know what to expected from the flat.

It was opened planned and she was surprised at how big it actually was. There was another hallway to her left, which she suspected led to the bathroom and bedrooms. The décor was exactly what she was expecting. It was very minimalist with only the bare minimum furniture and blue being the only other colour than black or white.

"It's rented. That's the reason for the colour scheme and only a sofa really. Plus not many people visit me." He said, bringing her over a tea.

She smiled at him as she took it off him and sat down on the sofa. "Yet you have a two bed flat."

"I have an old friend who likes to pop around now and again. If he knew I was in London, he would be here constantly." He sipped on his tea. "I mean he is a great friend but just a little full on at times."

Clara smiled, trying to imagine him with this friend.

The Doctor cleared his throat. "Why did John … go off on one last night?"

"He accused me of having an affair. With you." She sighed. "I suppose he wasn't too far from the truth."

"I don't think an innocent kiss could be called an affair. I think we would have had to have done it more than once to suffice being called an affair. He said the same about Danny, didn't he?"

"It was the reason he beat him up. I don't know whether I am feeling luckier that he seems to be a bit more subtle about it this time around."

"At a guess, you never told him about the kiss."

"I doubt you would be alive if I did. Maybe in hospital."

"Then where did he get that idea from?" The Doctor asked.

"He just believes that any male that tries to be friends with me, wants more than friendship. He asked what you got out of making me tea and I said my thanks and company. After that he said that he had to go out. I tried to stop him, reason behind the wrist."

He opened his mouth to say something but was stopped by Clara's phone ringing. She dug into her bag to find it, pulling it out to see the name on the screen. She stopped for a moment, undecided about whether to answer or not.

"John?" He asked.

Clara just nodded and sat back when it stopped ringing. She knew that he would keep ringing her and if she didn't answer then he would go out and find her. She knew that the next time he rang, she would need to answer and make up some lie that she had gone to Blackpool, maybe lie and say that her gran was ill or something. Instead she held the power button until her phone turned off before sliding it onto the coffee table. She turned to the Doctor to see a wide smile plastered over his face.

"What? What are you smiling at?"

"I think you must have made your choice about staying."

Clara just turned to her phone and looked down at the blank screen. She would probably pay for this but she was were she wanted to be at that moment in time.

* * *

The Doctor had dug out a t-shirt, that he was given ages ago but never worn, for her to wear in bed. He had cooked for her and made the most wonderful meal. She had to stop herself from wondering what she had done wrong. If John cooked for her, it was because of something that had happened the day before. She was still not used to the kindness that he was offering her.

Clara laid in the bed, flat on her back. It was late and she felt tired, but there was something stopping her from falling asleep. She thought that it was just the fear that John could still turn up any minute and take her back.

Or maybe it was just the years of sleeping next to someone.

She threw back the covers before making her way down the hallway to the Doctor's room. She hesitated outside for a moment, wondering if it was a good idea before she knocked on his door. She pushed open the door when she heard his voice.

"Couldn't sleep?" He said as she stood by the door.

"I don't know what it is. I don't know whether it is fear or just not having someone next to me." She hesitated. "Would it be weird if I asked you if I could sleep with you?"

The Doctor smiled at her before throwing back his covers. She skipped across the room, quickly getting in and lying down. He turned off his bedside light before lying down as well, turning towards her.

"Doctor?" She whispered.

"Yes." He whispered back.

"What are we doing?"

"What do you mean?"

Clara sighed. "I know you said earlier that everything that we have done so far wouldn't exactly be classed as an affair, but it does feel that way. Or is that just me?"

"Maybe." He said. "Well I suppose. From what you have already said to me, I believe that there are things that both of us would like to say but aren't strong enough to at the moment."

She looked at him in the dark. Maybe she wasn't the only one to feel the way that she did. Maybe he felt exactly the same. If she wasn't married, she was sure that he would give her a shot and visa versa. Again, there was a part of her that wanted to lean forward and kiss him, and from what he had just said, she suspected that a part of him wanted to do the same. She moved closer to him.

"Maybe we will say them."

She felt him snort.

"Maybe we don't need to say them."


	19. Working Out

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _I am glad you are all enjoying it. On with the next chapter._

* * *

 **Working Out**

Clara woke up gently and it took her a while to remember why she wasn't in her own bed. She was slightly upset to see that she was alone. She lifted her head up and looked at the clock. She laid back down. She couldn't remember the last time she had slept in passed nine. She must have been tried.

Part of her wondered whether it was a mistake for her to ask the Doctor if she could sleep with him. She was scared that she had brought him in too close. She was still trying to keep him at arm length for his own safety. At the moment it felt like she was holding him as close to her as she could.

She didn't want to get up. She was too scared that it would break the illusion she had created. She relished in the smell of him. She was being taken back to the early days of her marriage. She could imagine John sitting at the table, a cup of tea in hand, reading through the headlines of yesterday's paper. She used to steal one of his shirts to walk downstairs and join him.

The fact that she already had the Doctor's t-shirt on made her worry. Was she jumping in to quick and coming back to the original fear of her bring him too close to herself and her life.

If she was being honest with herself, she could understand how she could feel so safe with a stranger and not her own husband. Well the Doctor wasn't really a stranger any more.

She reluctantly got out of the bed after a while. She thought that there was no use in lying there and might as well face what the day was going to throw at her. She was quite surprised to be met with the sight of the Doctor, singing away to himself. She tried to stop herself from laughing.

"Morning." He said when he finally noticed her.

"Morning."

"There is tea in the pot if you want it."

She made her way over to the tea pot and poured herself a cup. She looked over his shoulder to see what he was doing.

"I don't usually have bacon for breakfast but I managed saved four slices of bread, because the rest of the loaf has gone mouldy, and I have nothing for toast. Well, I have been shopping yet this week and I haven't really got anything in the cupboards. So bacon sandwiches it is."

She laughed. "I don't mind. John used to get up early on at the weekend to make me breakfast. The kitchen looked like a bomb site but it was just something that happened. He could always do a mean fry up."

He gave her a small smile before he turned back to the bacon. "I think that John was a good man."

"He was." Clara stated.

The Doctor took the frying pan off the heat and made the sandwiches, handing her one before gesturing for them to sit on the sofa. She tucked her legs underneath her and placed the plate on her lap.

"You are welcomed here, but what is your plan of action? What is next?"

She chewed slowly to give her enjoy time to think over his question. "I don't know. Can I be frank with you?"

"Of course you can."

"No one knew what I was going through. Adrian would mention little things and I would just brush them off. I had just come so used to it just being my problem that maybe I didn't see how wrong it was. With Danny, I still don't know why he came to the school. I think he was probably checking up on me. Luckily it was the end of the day, all the students had gone home and we had some staff meeting. All Danny did was kiss my cheek. It was quite innocent really. John went mental and not only told the whole of the staff room what he thought was going on but what he had turned into. No one has spoke to me properly since except Adrian. Danny couldn't even look at me for a long time."

"Not that I think that you would but where you having an affair with Danny?"

"No." Clara said, a little too quick for her liking. "Danny is a lovely guy and any girl would be lucky to be with him. He just isn't my type."

"Who is your type then?"

"You." She said in disbelief after everything that had happened last night. "You just make me feel so safe and just everything feels better with you in the picture."

"How long have you felt like this?"

"Just before I kissed you. It was slightly the reason why I did kiss you."

She watched as he smiled at her. Part of her wondered if he couldn't believe what was actually happening like her. It was the first time that she thought that something could be done about John, that she could maybe get away from him.

"I don't think I have to tell you this but, I think that you are the most remarkable woman I have ever met and John is a very lucky man to have you."

She tried to stop herself from blushing and smiling too much.

"John is wrong to have pushed his problems on to you. You shouldn't have to have bared the weight you have. All your colleagues should have done something when they found out. Not just coward in the corner." He continued.

"What do you think I should do?" She asked.

"Clara, I am a selfish man. I would want you to stay with me. But I know the implications of that. I know that you can't avoid John forever. We both need to be a bit realistic. This is just a temporary solution for the moment, for the weekend. You have to decide what you want to do and I will support you to an extent. I will not allow you to go back to that house on your own."

He was right in what he was saying, she knew that. She knew that she would just take a few minutes to think about what she wanted to do. She wasn't as safe as she thought in London. Maybe she needed to get away.


	20. Dad?

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _So what is Clara going to do now?_

* * *

 **Dad?**

"I think I have decided what I am going to do." Clara said when she rejoined him in the living room after she had got changed. "I know it is nearly the afternoon but I think I need to get away for a bit. Just go somewhere were I can have the time to think without worrying that John might come around every five minutes."

"I can drop you off anywhere you want."

"Could you drop me off at Euston? I think my dad needs to know what has been going on."

The Doctor smiled at her. "I think he probably does. Come on." He said, grabbing his keys. "The sooner we get there, maybe the sooner you can get to Blackpool."

She smiled before grabbing her bag and following him out. As much as she would have loved to stay with the Doctor, she was scared that John would come round. She was sure that he wouldn't follow her to Blackpool. She would at least believe she was safer there.

* * *

"Hey Dad, are you busy?" She said into her phone as she walked off the platform and onto the main concourse.

" _No I am not. Why? Is everything okay?"_

"Could you come and pick me up? I am at the train station."

" _Yes sure. I will be there right away."_ She heard him pick up his keys. _"Clara, why are you in Blackpool?"_

"I will explain when we are at home."

* * *

Clara thanked her dad when he placed the cup of tea in front of her. She had spent the journey back and the time it took to make the tea, trying to workout how she was going to start this conversation.

"So where is John?" Her dad asked when he sat opposite her.

Now was her chance. "He is back at home." She paused for a moment. "Actually, he doesn't know I am here."

The confused look that her dad gave her worried her slightly. Had he never noticed? Had they both been able to put on a good show in front of them?

"Look it is long and complicated." She said, scaring herself out of telling him.

"Have you had an argument?" Linda said, joining their conversation.

"No as such. Just … things haven't been right for a while now."

"Clara what do you mean?" Her dad said, reaching out for her.

She actually had to stop herself from not tensing. It had become this instant reaction unless she was caught off guard. She could tell the look on her dad's face when she pulled her hand from his.

"Clara."

"I ..." She started before stopping herself.

"Clara, what has been happening?" Her dad asked.

Now she was regretting her decision. She could be with the Doctor back at his flat rather than trying to explain the last 2 years to her dad.

"John isn't the same man that I married."

Her dad looked at her, wanting her to continue but knowing that he wasn't going to like what he heard.

"He didn't … hasn't taken his redundancy well. I mean, it was the thing he wanted to do, his dream job. I supported him and then tried to encourage him to try other things. I told him that he was good with children so he could become a teacher. I told him that there were probably other places that would love his knowledge and expertise. I told him that he could get another job. But it all fell of deaf ears. You know he is not a drinker, but he is now. He's become extremely protective over me. I don't know whether it is because he is scared of losing me like he did his job but I have had to bail him out because he tried to beat up one of my colleagues because he kissed me on the cheek."

"But Clara what has he done to you?" Her dad asked.

"Tried to control everything that I do." She really didn't want to tell him. "He only has hurt me during the heat of an argument. He either grips just a bit too hard or just doesn't know his own strength."

"Why didn't you tells us?"

"Dad, I wanted to. I wanted to tell you at Christmas and the Christmas before. I just couldn't."

A moment of silence fell over them as both her dad and Linda took in what she had said. She wasn't joking she really wanted to tell them.

She had left her phone on, waiting for a text from the Doctor to say that he got her message that she got to Blackpool safely. When her phone rang and the name flashed up on it, Clara just about grabbed it before her dad did.

She thought about ignoring his call. Her thumb hovered over the button before she hit accept. She placed the phone to her ear. She realised that she would have to speak with him at one point. Through a phone might be best at the moment.

" _Where are you?"_ He asked straight away.

"Hello to you too. I am in Blackpool."

" _Why are you in Blackpool? Why didn't you come home last night?"_

She thought about lying to him. "I just wanted to see my dad. Do I need a good reason to do that?"

Clara stood up when her dad held out his hand for her to hand over the phone to him. She walked out of the kitchen and into the living room.

" _He talked you into doing it."_

"What are you talking about?"

" _The Doctor. He talked you into going to Blackpool"_

"No, I can make my own choices John."

" _Clara come home. We need to talk."_

She let out a shaky breath. "John, I can't do this any more. I love you and will always love you but I can't do it any more."

" _Can't do what? You are having an affair with him."_

Her dad was standing in front of her. John's words weighted out her dad's worried look. She felt something snap. Maybe she just wanted him to feel something of what she had felt for the passed couple of years.

"Yes, okay you have finally found me out. You're right. I am having an affair with the Doctor and I love him more than I could ever love you."

The silence afterwards scared her as much as the bleeping that signalled that he had hung up. Part of her had wondered why she had said what she had said. She quickly brought the phone down from her ear before pressing the Doctor's number.


	21. Waiting

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _So what are the consequences of Clara's words?_

* * *

 **Waiting**

She knew that she had been stupid. She still didn't know what had come over her to say what she had said. Her dad had stopped her from going back to London, saying that he wasn't going to allow her to go back after what she had said. She hadn't moved from the kitchen, staring at her phone, waiting for the Doctor to call her back, telling her that he was safe.

Clara hadn't noticed her dad sitting next to her until he placed his hand on top of one of hers.

"I think you should get some sleep. You look exhausted."

"I can't. Not yet." She told him.

"Why did you say what you said?" He asked.

She sighed. "Because part of it was true. I am still unsure whether it is a good thing or not. I have been denying to myself for so long that I don't know what I have made up to keep myself sane or what is the truth. But I know one thing for sure. The Doctor is the first man that I have given a second glance or thought about since I married John. The Doctor has been there when others would have turned away and left me to it.

"Is it okay that I just want to feel like when I first went out with John? The feeling of being safe and loved and just being adored by someone. The Doctor has shown me more of that in the last few months than John has for the last couple of years. I wondered why I felt so safe with basically a stranger rather than my own husband. Maybe I was just keeping too much hope that John would get back on his feet again."

Her dad snorted. "Yes it is. And maybe it is a good thing that you have fallen for someone else. John doesn't particularly deserve the love that you have given him. Clara, you have stood by his side and gone through a lot just because he lost his job. There is more that he could do with the knowledge that he has."

"I know. I told him that. Many times."

"If this Doctor guy has been looking after you, then it is no wonder you have come to love him. You have looked for some kindness and he has been the only one to give it to you. It doesn't take a genius to know why you have attached yourself to him. So is it really a bad thing that you have fallen in love with him?"

Clara allowed herself to laugh. "The only problem is, you two probably have more chance of being school friends than I probably do to go into a relationship with him."

"Okay." Her dad said, processing what she had just said.

"Does that really matter?" Linda said as she entered the kitchen and placed her mug by the sink.

Both Dave and Clara turned to look at her.

"What?" She said. "Please tell me that you were shocked when Clara married John. Dave, I think I know your daughter better than you do. Don't you remember all the posters that we had to take down when we redecorated her room? Most of them were of older gentleman while most girls her age would have go for whoever was popular, good looking and young. Not your Clara though. Leading me to think that she would marry an older gentleman rather than marry someone her age."

Clara didn't have a chance to reply. Her phone started ringing and she was glad to see Adrian's name on the screen. She answered it soon after.

" _Clara, what on earth is happening?"_ He asked.

* * *

Clara closed her eyes and hugged her pillow, trying to recreate the feeling and smells that she woke up that morning with. She tried to imagine the Doctor next to her but the image of him was lost when she opened her eyes.

Maybe she should have asked him to come with her.

Linda's words were still going around her mind. It was the first time she had really said anything nice about her. But there was probably some truth in her words. She hadn't really ever had an interest with pretty young men, except for John. John was the exception.

She rolled over as her phone buzzed on the bedside table and she sighed with some relief when she saw the number on the screen. She answered it before resuming her position.

" _Hey."_

"Hey." She said.

" _How are you?"_ The Doctor asked.

"I have felt better. You?"

" _I'm fine."_

"Is it okay that I miss you, even though I saw you this morning?"

He chuckled. _"Yes, because I feel the same."_

"It is just great to hear your voice."

" _Will you stop worrying? It is audible."_

"It has just become part of my everyday life. I worry constantly."

" _Hopefully soon that will all be in the past."_

Clara sighed. "Maybe."

" _Look Clara, you have just been stuck in a rut and everyone either couldn't see it or just didn't want to help because of the same fear that you have."_

"Are you going to be that person to help me out of the rut then?"

" _I hope so. I don't think I have to tell you what I feel because I think you already know and feel the same. You can't keep living like this."_

"I don't need someone else to be protective over me."

" _No but I have a duty of care."_

She pulled the pillow closer to herself and closed her eyes. "A duty of care." She repeated.

" _Clara, you know I am not people person."_

"Says the guy that works in a school."

" _Children are easier to deal with. They wear their hearts on their sleeve and they will at least tell you bluntly if something is wrong. Adults just hide behind smiles and words that are the opposite of what they actually mean."_

"I suppose."

" _I am not a people person, but I am a you person."_

She couldn't stop herself from laughing. "I am trying to work out whether that was the sweetest thing I have ever heard or the cheesiest thing."

The Doctor chuckled. _"You know what I mean though."_

"Yeah." She sighed. "Keep talking to me. I might actually be able to fall asleep at this rate."


	22. Need You

_Thank you for the reviews._

* * *

 **Need You**

The trip back to London was a long and early one. Her dad had argued that she wasn't going back to London before she had to, which lead her to getting the first train leaving Blackpool to London. She had tried to argue that she would have to be up at ridiculous o'clock, but he wanted her to be safe. She had managed to get him to allow her to catch the last train to Preston so that she then didn't have to get up as early. It was still early for her.

Clara could feel her eyes want to shut but she didn't really feel like she could sleep. She was terrified by what could have happened over the weekend. Even though she had talked to both Adrian and the Doctor, who both said that everything was fine, she didn't believe them. She had to know for herself.

Her dad had tried to convince her that she was safer in Blackpool with him and he was right when he said, if she gave them enough notice, she could get some time off work. But the mess that she had made needed to be sorted.

And most of all, she needed to see the Doctor.

* * *

There were three reason that Clara had to be able to smile about.

The first was that John wasn't waiting for her by the gate of Coal Hill. She had spent her whole tube trip from Euston to Old Street wondering whether he would be there. It was when she wondered if her dad was right and she should have just waited it out in Blackpool. But he wasn't there, and she felt herself let out a sigh of relief.

The second was seeing the Doctor step out his car and the smile he had on his face. She was pretty sure that she matched it. The weekend may have been crazy but she knew that she had some clarification on what she should do. She needed to find a way of being able to leave John. She had stayed with him because she loved him. She couldn't love him as much as she used to any more.

The third was the tight hug that he gave her when she walked over to him. Clara sighed as she knew that it would always be a place that she felt like she was safe. She knew that she wouldn't be able to move away from her relationship with John quickly, but she knew that the Doctor would be waiting for her when she was ready.

"I am so sorry." She said as they started to walk into the building.

"I was grateful for your phone call. I had managed to get out of there before he came round. If anything, at least it did look like I wasn't there."

"Good. I spent all of that evening worrying."

"I know. I told you that it was audible."

"I … I told my dad."

The Doctor turned to her. "How did he take it?"

"I didn't actually have any expectation as to how he would take it. I think he would prefer it if I was still in Blackpool at the moment."

"I think I would have to agree with him."

"I told John that I can't do this any more and I mean it. I know I can't do it."

"That would mean seeing him again."

"At the moment, I doubt I will be going home. Give him a bit of time to calm down."

"Clara."

"I am sure we could work something out."

He turned to her and raised an eyebrow at her. "We?"

She turned to him. "Yes, we. You made me change my mind. I want you by my side for the rest of it. Don't blame me. I know you have had warnings. You have got involved in this and you are going to be the person to help me out of this rut."

The Doctor laughed at her. "I suppose I did say that."

"Along with that you are a me person."

"God, that was awful."

Clara rocked into him, nudging him. "I know that there are things that we need to say to each other. And one day we will say them. I will need time after this."

"Oh Clara Smith, I have all the time in the world for you."

* * *

He sweated nervously as he walked down the alley. He didn't want to be a part of it. He didn't want to do this to her. But like her, he was terrified of him.

"So?" John said, when he reached him.

"She's back."

"Talking to the Doctor."

"Of course."

John nodded before giving a small smile. "He has stolen my wife from me. You know, she confessed to having an affair."

"Did she?"

"I think we need to remind this Doctor who she is married to." John said as he patted his shoulder before walking off.

 _Oh Clara, what mess have you got yourself into?_ He thought as he walked in the opposite direction. _What mess have I got myself into?_

* * *

The bell signalled as the end of the day and Clara, for once, was actually looking forward to leaving. She wouldn't say go home because her home was the house that her and John had brought together. But she was going to go and be with someone that cared about her as much as she cared about him.

She wondered if she could drop some of her worries and just go for it a bit. She had told the Doctor that she would need time, but there was a few things that they could do now. There had been a point during one of her classes that she tried to remember what it was like for them to kiss.

Was that taking it too fast?

"Ready?"

She jumped at his voice but turned and smiled anyway. "Sorry, miles away."

The Doctor smiled at her. "Are you ready?"

She nodded at him before shrugging on her jacket and picking up her bags. "I brought some clothes while I was in Blackpool so I didn't have to go home straight away."

"Good idea."

Clara stopped in front of him. "This is right, isn't it? I mean, it feels the right thing to do. The first step in it all."

"You know John better than I do. If you think he just needs a cooling off period before you could see him again, then it is the right thing. I believe the right thing is to get you to a place where he won't hurt you any more. **"**

She nodded at him. "Shall we go?"

She wanted to take his hand as they walked down the corridor. She didn't but she wanted to. She knew what John had done to her was wrong but she knew that she would look in the wrong if she was seen as being in a relationship with the Doctor.

It was just a matter of time and how long they could wait.


	23. Kissing

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _So who is the spy?_

* * *

 **Kissing**

There was something oddly normal about entering the Doctor's flat. It was only her second time there but there was a much more homely feel than what she had at home.

The thoughts about taking things too slowly or quickly were still floating around. She was just glad when she dropped onto the sofa next to the Doctor.

"I still have some marking at home." Clara mentioned.

"I am sure your students will understand."

"Really? Some of them do not like to wait to get their essays back."

"And some of them never want to see it again."

She turned and smiled at him. "You know I said earlier that I would need time."

"Yeah."

"I don't think I know what I need."

The Doctor turned to her, giving her a worried look. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know."

"You aren't having second thoughts, are you?"

Clara looked at him. "Doctor, my life was turned upside down when John lost his job. It has been a mess ever since. I have told so many lies to people and myself. Part of me even wonders if I know what I even want. Do I want John just to get back on his feet? Am I doing this because it might shock him into getting back on his feet? Am I doing this because of my attraction to you? Am I doing this because I have really had enough? I don't know what to think or do. I don't know what I need or want. I just don't know."

He sat forward. "I don't expect you to have everything worked out."

"Maybe I expect myself to have it worked out."

"You can't expect that from yourself either. We will work things out as we go along."

"What about what I want?"

"That's something you need to work out."

If anything, Clara had scared herself about the thought of not being able to get away from John. The Doctor had offered her help but she was scared by the fact that no planning had gone into her escape from him. She was sure that maybe they were missing something. That it wasn't as simple as her just never going back to the house until she was ready.

She when back to this morning and her relief when John wasn't at the school gates. She was scared that she had fallen into a state of false security. John wouldn't let her go that easily.

With that realisation, she tried to think back to an earlier thought of hers, trying to remember what it was like to kiss the Doctor. She wanted to feel safe. He made her feel safe. There wasn't much distance between them.

She moved closer to him and grabbed one of his hands. When he turned to her again, she wasted no time in kissing him. There was a moment of surprise on his part before he kissed her back. His hand didn't leave hers but as they got more and more lost in the kiss, she leant back on the sofa while he ended up on top of her, using his free hand to keep him up. He let go of her hand as they broke from their kiss and he tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear.

Clara knew that she had told her dad that she wanted it back to when she first met John, but the Doctor's gentleness totally took her back to that time. She gave him a gentle push backwards.

"What's wrong? Too fast?" He asked.

"It just feels like when me and John started dating. The way that he was gentle and I just felt safe with him, like we could take on the world together. The way that I just couldn't wait to be with him. The way that every moment with him was special."

He gave her a quick kiss before sitting them both up.

"I don't know what will happen. I don't know what the future holds in sort for us. I can't promise you that you will be able to get away from John and I can't promise that if you do, that we would be safe. I will promise you that I would never want to hurt you. I would never want to turn out like John. I also promise that we will take every obstacle that comes our way together."

"I am scared Doctor. I should have seen him today. He should have been standing that those gates to either drag me home or beat you up. He will do something soon."

The Doctor opened his mouth, probably to tell her that he was here and that he wouldn't allow anything to happen to her, but was stopped when the buzzer went off.

"Maybe we shouldn't have come back here." He ended up saying.

* * *

"John, I don't want a part in this."

"Tough. They aren't going to let me in are they? I need someone to get me in." John grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "You are a part of this now. You understand that."

He swallowed before nodding.

"All you have to do is get me into the building and into his flat and then you can scurry off and act like this never happened."

"I can't do this. Not to her."

"You can. And you will."

He hated John when he was like this. Maybe if he was a different person, like Danny, he would have already punched him to stop John. But he wasn't someone like Danny. He wouldn't have the strength to overpower John.

He meant what he said. He couldn't do this to Clara. Clara was his friend and he had betrayed her in the worst way possible. When she had told him that she thought that John had someone spying on her at school, he thought he would be her first suspect. It wasn't going to be someone from afar now was it. John would need someone that knew Clara well and would also be able to get a few things out of her that she would hide from John.

Adrian sighed before pressing the bell for the Doctor's flat.


	24. Which John?

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _Now for a little drama._

* * *

 **Which John?**

The flat was filled with the sound of the buzzer. There was one point where it stop for a moment before starting again.

"Don't answer it." Clara whispered to the Doctor.

"It could be anyone."

"The number of times that buzzer has gone off, do you really think that it is anyone other than John? I'm not ready to confront him now."

"Clara."

"Please, Doctor."

He sighed before he stood up. He just couldn't deal with it constantly going off. "I'll just see who it is."

"Doctor." She said after him.

He shared in her fears. If it was John, which it probably was, he knew that he wouldn't be able to stop him from getting her back, if he let him in. But that was the plan. To tell John to go away and hope that he would go away and re-plan. Hopefully that would give them enough time to come up with their own plan or at least get out of the flat.

"What do you want?" He snapped into the speaker.

" _Hey it's Adrian. Umm … I was in the neighbourhood and I thought I would drop by the stuff that you left at mine."_

Clara had mentioned to him about her worry that John had someone spying on her, and he was sure that her biggest fear had just been recognised.

"You could have just given it to me tomorrow. Come on up." He said letting him in.

The Doctor sighed against the door to see Clara standing at the entrance to the hallway.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"For what?"

"It's not just Adrian coming up but John as well. Adrian doesn't know where I live unless he has been stalking me as well. Plus I didn't take anything around to his after you called other than myself. The only thing that I could have left would have been my keys. I'm sorry. John is using him and I have just let them in."

"I could hide."

"Clara."

"I can't go back to him."

He took a few steps to reach her and pull her into a hug. "I know."

She nuzzled into his chest, trying to be as close as she could to him. A stern knock on the door made her look up at him. He let her go and watched her as she walked back into the living room and sat down on the sofa.

The Doctor opened the door and pushed John back as he attempted to enter. He did it a few times before he stopped.

" _My_ wife is in there and I want to see her." He said, heavily stressing the 'my' part.

"And it is my flat. If you want to see Clara, it will be when she wants to see you. Unless you are going to be civil then we might be able to talk about this."

"You don't have any right." John said before he pushed passed him.

The Doctor just looked at Adrian before turning into his flat, leaving the door open for him if Adrian wanted to enter.

"John, please calm down."

"Calm down? You have been having an affair with another man."

He was glad that Clara had managed to keep some distance between herself and John. He stepped in front of John and pushed him down into the sofa.

"Sit down and shut up."

John attempted to get back up but was stopped by the Doctor each time.

"I said sit down and shut up."

John finally did as he was told and the Doctor couldn't stop himself from letting out a small sigh of relief. He looked over his shoulder at Clara.

"Okay?" He asked.

She nodded at him.

"Right, civil conversation." The Doctor said turning back to John.

"John, we haven't been having an affair. I only said that so that you might just understand what I have felt for the last couple of years. I have been waiting for the man I married to come back and he hasn't. I can't do it any more John. I can't deal with the man that you have become. I hate having to guess what mood you are in. I hate having to think about what I say before I say it. I hate having to wonder if what you are saying to me is genuine or not. I still love you John. I just hate what has happened to you."

The Doctor watched as John's face softened. He had already told Clara that he was a selfish man but if he could make it better between her and John, then he would. This was the man that she had loved since secondary. She had been with him for a decade.

"So you get with him." John said, calmly.

"No, but I felt … safer with him. The Doctor has only showed me kindness and friendship."

"And it is his fault that we aren't working like we used to." John stood up and walked over to Clara. "We are good for each other. We have always been good for each other. I know things haven't been the same but we have managed. He has been putting ideas in your head. We are good. We have been working."

The Doctor had to give it to John, he did have a way with words. He almost believe John, himself. The way Clara looked at him meant that she was trying to work out the truth from the lies.

"He hasn't been putting ideas in my head. Don't blame the Doctor when you are the person that has made me fall in love with another man. The only person you have to blame is yourself." She whispered.

She gave a quickly glance to the Doctor. They were still on with their plan to get her away. The only problem was, John was closer to Clara than the Doctor was and there was a coffee table between them and him.

John grabbed her wrist before attempting to leaving, pulling her with him. The Doctor turned to stop him but ended up moving backwards, a sharp pain going through his right temple. He tried to regain his balance but struggled to. He felt himself falling, blacking out.

"You are coming home with me Clara." He heard John say before his vision went black.


	25. Back 'Home'

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _Can we lower the Adrian hate just a little? He does have a reason._

* * *

 **Back 'Home'**

"You are coming home with me, Clara."

Clara couldn't really stop him when John pulled her by her wrist. She could feel the tears running down her cheek. She managed to regain her composure by the time they reached the door. She clawed at his hand, trying to get him to let her go. She thought about screaming, drawing some attention to what was happening. But the strength of John's grip made it remain as a thought. He wasn't playing around. He wanted her home and that was where she was going now. She tried to looking back to see if the Doctor was okay.

Maybe she was safer in Blackpool.

* * *

Clara would have preferred it if he started the shouting straight away. The silence was worse. He was thinking about what he was going to say. He was going to think about how he was going to make this all her fault.

"Why did you pull Adrian into this?" She asked, believing it was the right place to start.

"This has nothing to do with Adrian."

"It has everything to do with Adrian. Have you bullied him into spying on me for you?"

John didn't answer. He just stood there, with a stern look on his face. After she asked the question and the look on his face, she knew the answer.

"Oh my stars you have. That is why he is the only male that I am allowed to talk to. No wonder he kept asking me if I was going to leave you. He wanted to get away from you as well. This is what you do John. This is what you have be come. This is why I can't do this any more."

"I had my reasons to spy on you. My concerns about who you were speaking to. And I was right to have them, wasn't I?"

"Me and the Doctor aren't having an affair. I did only say it because I … I don't know. I wanted to make you feel like you were losing me."

"But I'm not. You are here."

"Only because you dragged me here. I don't want to be here. I can't do this any more. Please John."

"We are good Clara. We have always been good."

"Look at this John. This isn't normal."

"No it isn't normal. Look at what you have done. See what your little lie has got you. Clara, I don't know whether I could forgive you for that. Look what you made me do. I hurt the Doctor because of you."

Her mouth started to speak before her mind had totally comprehend what he had said.

"I know. I'm sorry."

She didn't know why she had just apologised. None of this was her fault. He was just making it out to be her fault. She just couldn't listen to it any more. She couldn't go back into the cycle of them being fine then something happening, she getting the blame for it, her apologising for it (even though it wasn't her fault), him forgiving her then her waiting for the next thing to go wrong. It was what she couldn't do any more. The last two years has just drained her.

Clara wanted to come home to the man she had fallen in love with and married. She wanted that man to be there. She wanted him to come up behind her and wrap his arms around her waist. She wanted the goofy man that always made her smile, no matter what had happened. She wanted the incredible man with the brilliant, beautiful mind back.

He grabbed her shoulders roughly.

"Clara, I don't want to be this person."

The change in the conversation shocked her. She looked at him and saw that he was this scared man. Maybe he just didn't know his own strength.

"I can change back. I need you Clara to do that." He continued. "You are my strength Clara. I have never been strong. I need you Clara, more than ever. I can't lose you, not now."

She didn't stop him as he pulled her into the hug. His weight pushed her down and they ended up sitting on the floor, both crying. She was desperately trying not to see the man that she married but was finding it hard.

John always used to be so open. He cried as much as she did when her mother died. So there was nothing wrong with how he was acting at the moment. Just it made Clara second guess herself.

She wanted to see the man that she had married. She wanted to make things work with him. She wanted to believe that they could start again. She wanted to believe that this was just a rough patch and that it could be like it was before.

But then she remembered the last time he promised he would turn himself around. He said that he would stop drinking. He said that he would try and find a job. He said that he loved her and would never want to hurt her.

Now she just wanted the Doctor to show up. She wanted him to take her away from her home and back to his flat. She wanted to lie beside him as he would tell her that everything will be okay. She wanted to kiss him, make everything go away. She wanted to drown herself in him. She wanted the Doctor.

There would always be a part of her that loved John. She had loved him since she was 16. She wanted to marry him. She had thought about the life and children that they would have together. She had planned out the life that they were going to have together. She could still picture it all. A little girl or boy, John throwing them above his head, their laughter echoing around them. They could have a very happy family. They could have been a very happy family.

She loved John but she didn't love him any more.


	26. Saving Clara

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _I think the chapter title says everything I want to say._

* * *

 **Saving Clara**

The Doctor struggled to remember what had happened when he came to. All he could feel was the pain in his right temple. He slowly began to sit himself up.

"Are you okay?"

He looked up to see Adrian standing there. It all came back to him rather quick. John and his words before getting in a lucky hit. He shock his head.

"I will be. I guess that he took her back to theirs."

Adrian nodded. "Believe me, I didn't want to help him. I didn't want to spy on her for him. I didn't want to betray her."

He shook his head again, trying to get rid of the dizziness he felt. He wanted to help Clara but he knew that he wasn't going to be going anywhere any time soon. He attempted to get up but ended up just dropping down on the sofa.

"Look you don't need to tell me that. It will be Clara."

"My car is just outside. I know where she lives. I could take you there but I don't want to be involved in this any more."

He thought over his proposal. It wasn't a bad one as the Doctor had only dropped Clara off around where she lived. He didn't actually know where she lived. Plus there was the fact that he would be in no real state to drive at the moment.

"Maybe that would be a good idea." He said as he managed to stand up.

The Doctor held his head as they made their way out of the flat. He just hoped that Clara was alright. He just hoped Clara had control of the situation. He just hope Clara was okay.

* * *

On the way there, the Doctor had called the police. When he explained to them what had happened, they asked so many questions that he nearly put the phone down on them. It just frustrated him that he could tell them that he was scared what a man was going to his own wife and the address at where they were and they seemed like they didn't really care.

He kept on the line until they reached Clara's house. He thanked Adrian before telling him that he might want to make a statement when they was all over. Anything really to help Clara out.

The Doctor still felt a little dizzy as he got out of the car but made his way towards the house, unknowing what he would find inside.

* * *

They had both calmed down but were still on the floor. John had his head against Clara's chest, with his back against the door.

"I can change." He repeated for the tenth time.

"I know. We will have to try and make things work, won't we?"

She placed her cheek against the top of her head and let out a small sigh of relief when she saw the Doctor standing in the porch door. She could just about see his right eye beginning to bruise and hoped that nothing else would happen to him.

"We will." John said.

She turned and placed a kiss into his hair. She just had to keep him calm. If he remained calm, then he might not hurt the Doctor again. She started to rock him again, holding him tight to her. She looked up at the Doctor again and smiled at him when he nodded his head back towards the front door. He knew that she had the situation under control. He turned to leave.

"Do you remember when we talked about children?" She said to John.

"I still want them." He said, sitting up.

Clara placed her hand on his cheek, keeping the focus on her. "We could still have that family. We can get you help John."

"What about the Doctor?"

"I just felt lonely. I won't feel lonely again when I have you back."

"Are you blaming this all on me?" He said harshly.

"No."

"You are, aren't you? It is all my fault because I lost my job. Because I can't give you the things that you want. Do you really think he can give you everything you want?"

She felt taken aback by it all. The situation had changed dramatically.

"John, I only want you. I have told you. I only wanted you to feel as I felt when I said I was having an affair with the Doctor. He is only my friend. I don't want anything else from him."

His gaze cut right through her and she wondered if she was as good at lying as she thought she was.

"He is here isn't he?"

Both Clara and John turned to the door to see the Doctor still standing there.

"I was going to go until you turned the conversation." He said.

John shot up. "This is all your fault. You ruined everything." He shouted.

"Look, John, calm down. Shouting isn't going to get you anywhere."

John bent down and picked Clara off the floor. "She is my wife."

"I know. I know that you are a good man. I also know that you would never truthfully want to scare or hurt Clara. I know you love her and this is all because you love her so much. I know she loves you too but you can't keep thinking that this is right."

John's gaze soften slightly as the Doctor's words but he didn't let go of Clara. The Doctor took a step towards them.

"Look, I didn't know what to do. I called the police and they should be on their way. It's over John. Clara has told you she can't live like this any more. Just let her go."

John pulled Clara behind him before swinging at the Doctor again. He managed to block it this time, holding onto his arm. John used his strength to push him back, causing the Doctor to take a few steps back. They seemed to be in some sort of stalemate. The Doctor didn't want to try his luck at trying to get Clara and Clara didn't want to try and run to the Doctor.

As the sirens sounded, it brought John to some sort of reality that the situation was happening. Once he had let Clara go and his hand had dropped to his side, Clara ran over to the Doctor and jumped into his arms. She held him tightly.

"It's okay. I've got you." The Doctor said to her.

It must have been a sight to see when the police entered, seeing Clara hugging him and John looking defeated.

"John Smith, you are under arrest for assault and domestic violence. You do not have to say anything. But, it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence. Do I make myself clear?"


	27. Blackpool

_Thank you for the reviews._

* * *

 **Blackpool**

The Doctor turned as the door opened and watched Clara as she came out of the room. He stood up, removing the ice pack from his eye. He held it loosely in his hand as she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him, placing her ear against his chest. He wrapped his free arm around her, pulling her in close, and placed his chin onto the top of her head. They stood like that for a few moments, Clara just trying to feel what she always felt with him, safe. She pulled herself back to look up at him.

"Does it hurt?" She said, looking at his eye.

"Not to bad. I have had worse."

She raised her hand up and gentle brushed her fingertips over it before giving him a sad smile. "Thank you for coming after me."

"I said that I would help you. I couldn't just leave you now could I. Not when you needed me most."

"Have you pressed charges?"

He smiled at her. "I have made a statement and have mentioned everything that has happened over the last few months. I haven't as such press charges but I hope what I have said will help you more."

Clara nodded at him before she looked down and started to play with the holes in his jumper.

He wanted to say something to make her feel better but just couldn't find the right words. What he wanted to say to her felt too soon. She had basically just broken up with someone that she had been with for the best part of a decade. It was definitely too soon.

"How about we check that they don't need you any more and if they don't, I will take you away from it all. I am sure the school with understand if you call up and tell them what has happened. You have got Adrian to back us up. I don't think you need to throw yourself back into things quickly. You need to give yourself some time to get to grips with what has just happened. As I said before, I can take you anywhere but I believe it might be best if you go to your dad's. Be somewhere that is familiar to you."

"Are you not going to stay with me?"

"Do you want me to?"

She looked up at him again. "Stay with me please."

The Doctor smiled down at her again. "I will stay for as long as you want me to."

It was the first time since the bell rang that he saw Clara give him a proper smile.

* * *

It was quite a long and quiet journey up to Blackpool. As soon as the Doctor had asked about whether the police were done with Clara and told them what they planned to do, they encouraged it. They told him that they would be looking over the statements that they had given them and would be in contact if they needed any more information.

He tried to do everything to make her smile. He liked it when Clara smiled. He put on some music and sung long with it but he just couldn't get her to give more than a little smile to him. He wanted to help her forget about what had happened and how far John had gone.

The only time Clara really talked was to direct him to her dad's house. The Doctor knew that he would have to try and get herself back to her old-self as quickly as he could. He didn't like this side of Clara. The thing that attracted him to her was her strength, her no nonsense attitude. As she was now was the complete opposite to that. He hated John for doing that to her.

He waited by the car, taking his time to get everything out when they arrived. Clara went straight to her dad and hugged him. He watched them for a moment, glad that he had brought her. This was exactly what she needed.

He actually got the bags out of the back when her dad took her into the house. He smiled when her step-mum came over and helped him.

"I know Dave will say this later but thank you for looking after her." She paused. "I didn't want to worry Dave but I did have my concerns about Clara."

"It was the least that I could do. And I think many people had concerns about Clara but just didn't know how to voice them."

She smiled at him before introducing herself as Linda. She told him to leave the bags in the hallway as they went to join Clara and her dad. The Doctor smiled when he saw Clara leaning against the worktop, holding a cup of tea in both hands, blowing it to cool it down.

"Ah, you look happier now that you have a cup of tea in your hands."

She gave him a small smile. "It is how this all started didn't it? With you making me tea."

"You know, I have never seen someone drink as much tea as your daughter." He said to Dave.

"Only because you keep bringing me one." She took a sip. "And it reminds me of home."

She had returned to looking sad, probably going over the last 24 hours in her mind. He wanted to take the memories away from her. He wanted for her to be able to start again without the past holding her back.

Dave looked at the Doctor before turning back to his daughter. "It will get better Clara. You are both welcome to stay for as long as you want or need to. I know that it will take a long time to get over but at least you are home for now and away from him."

"I know. It has just been a long day." She ended up saying after a while.

* * *

The Doctor sat on her bed as he watched her return from the bathroom. Dave had set them up in different rooms but Clara had as him if he would sleep in the same bed as her. He had obliged and that was how he was now watching this extremely strong woman throw back the covers to join him in bed.

"Nothing's going to be the same is it?" She asked.

"No, everything is going to change."

"And for the better."

He reached out and grabbed her hand. "Look, when we get back to London, we will talk about it more but I can help you get what you need. If you want an injunction against him, then I will find you the best lawyer for the job. I will take you to any group or counselling that you might think that you need to help you. Clara, I am going to be there, every step of the way now. I am going to look after you."

"Because you have a duty of care."

He smiled at her. "Because I have a duty of care." He repeated.

He lied down properly and placed his arm against the pillows. Clara looked down at him before joining him, placing her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him. He could feel her hand on his chest.

"I've got you Clara." He said before placing a kiss into her hair. "I've got you now."

Clara snuggled closer into his chest. She knew he had her. She knew that he would help her even before he said that he would. She was sure that everything would be okay but she was scared to fall asleep just in case it was all just a dream. Because that was what the last 24 hours felt to her. Like she was in a dream.


	28. Home?

_Thank you for the reviews._

* * *

 **Home?**

A week wouldn't solve everything. They both knew that but there was just something nice about being in Blackpool and Clara having the support of her dad. Because there were days that she would push the Doctor away and he just accepted it. There were nights when she would ask him if he didn't mind sleeping in the spare room and he just accepted it. There was no point her throwing herself into the deep end. She needed time.

More time than what they had. They could have probably stayed longer but the Doctor was keen to get back and teach his students and he was sure that Clara felt the same way. They had made the decision that they were going to go back to London on the Sunday and prepare themselves for work on Monday.

He held her as close as he could as they laid in bed together, taking their time to wake up and get up.

"I could get used to this." She commented.

The Doctor traced his fingers up and down her arm. "You can."

Something changed in that moment. It was like there were times when she would realise what had happened and her mood would change. It was only to be expected. Maybe she all still expected it to be some dream.

"Or has John made it hard for you to have a long term relationship again?"

Clara remained quiet for a while. He allowed her the time to think over the question. He didn't expect her to know.

"I don't know what I can and cannot do."

"Then everything will depend on you. We will slow things right down. We don't have to do anything or say anything until you are ready to. I will be here by your side, whether that is as a friend or as something more."

She raised up on her elbow, looking down at him. "As a friend?"

"Clara, I am the first man that you have attached yourself to. You said it yourself, until me, you had never thought about another man, let alone give him a second glance. I am honoured that I could turn your head but … I don't want you to feel like you have to be with me."

"No, I want to be with you."

He smiled at her. "Then we will make things work."

"Just give me time."

"For you, I would wait … four and a half billion years."

Clara laughed at him. "Four and a half billion years. Where did that come from?"

"Don't know, just it is a long amount of time."

"You could have been like everyone else and said forever."

"But there is no such thing as forever. Forever does end. Four and s half billion years is at least a reasonable time scale. Plus, would you like me to be like everyone else?"

"No."

She leant in. He thought that she might just go back to resting against his shoulder but was glad when she kissed him. He could never get enough of Clara. He hoped that he could help her. He hoped that he could give her the life that she deserved.

* * *

"It feel weird to call someone Doctor." Dave said as he entered the room.

The Doctor was just finishing getting his things together. "My name is quite common and I am not a common man. It was just a nickname."

"Then what is your name?"

"John Smith." He said, looking up at Dave.

He watched as Dave started to smile at him.

"Your joking."

"John Basil Smith. I don't suppose John's middle name was Basil."

"Why don't you just use Basil?"

The Doctor shrugged at him. "I never really liked it."

"I didn't come here to talk about your name." Dave admitted.

"I could guess. You are here about your daughter, Clara."

"You will look after her, won't you?"

"You had me thinking that you were going to ask me to leave her alone." He joked. "Of course, I will look after her."

"Clara did tell me that we would probably have more of a chance of being friends than you two being in a relationship. But you have helped her and she seems happier now. I don't really have much reason to grumble."

"No, you don't. I have already told her that I will help her with whatever she will need."

Dave sighed. "Thank you for looking after her and helping her. It is appreciated greatly."

The Doctor smiled at him.

* * *

"I think that is everything." Clara said as she handed him the last bag to be put in the car.

"Good. Ready to go home?" He asked.

"Where's that?"

The Doctor turned to her after he shut the boot. "Wherever you want it to be."

"Your flat." She paused. "I would only want to go to my house to pick stuff up. That was John and my house. There is just too many memories of what happened and what could have been."

"Do you both jointly own the house?"

She nodded at him.

"When we get everything settled, we will have to get John to buy you out. It will mean that you will have no ties to the house."

"What? Then you sell your flat and we could get something to call our own?" She asked.

"Is there anything wrong with that?"

"No, I would like that." Clara told him.

The Doctor smiled down at her. "We will have to get everything sorted first off."

"We will."

He brought her closer to him and kissed the top of her head as she hugged him. He knew that she was apprehensive about going back. The thing was, it was a big change for her. She was now separated from her husband, a man that made everyone in the staff room fear talking to her. She could finally have a normal life with normal relationships with people. It would take time for her to adjust to that.

"How about we say goodbye to your dad and Linda and then set off? I don't know about you but I am sure I probably have some marking to do."

She laughed against his chest. "Yeah, probably."

They would be good. Everything seemed to be in their favour now.


	29. The Injunction

_Thank for the reviews._

 _Sorry I haven't posted yet today. Been to Wales Comic Con and met Greg and Fady. I was so nervous and I was little shaking after speaking to him. They are so nice so if you get a chance to meet them, take it with both hands._

 _Now on with the penultimate chapter, which has gone back to the blog._

* * *

 **The Injunction**

Fear

I wasn't actually scared to go back to London. I had the Doctor and I knew that he wouldn't allow anything to happen to me. The fear I had was the questions that were going to be asked. It was trying to remember everything that had happened to me and making sure I could just make sure that I could get away from John. I was still his wife.

The Doctor had found a very creditable barrister, who had told me many times that with the evidence that we had, I would be granted an injunction and more than likely a divorce. It still didn't settle me at all. The fear that I might have to go back to the cycle I had been in. There were only so many times a person can be told one thing before the other person realises that no matter what they say, it isn't going to stop the fears that they have. The Doctor worked that out pretty quickly and either just gave me space or held me as close as he could,

On the night before the first day of the court case, I couldn't sleep. I could see that the Doctor was exhausted but he stayed up with me as I spoke about my fears of having to recall everything that happened to me, being reminded of everything that happened. I spoke about how I might forget something that is vital. He tried his best to soothe me but there was only so much that the safety of his arms could do. That's when he asked me if there was something that would help me.

It was even more noticeable that the Doctor was tired as we drove down the motorway. Either that or he was trying to cheer me up by singing. I thought he was doing it to keep himself awake. There were some really weird songs that came onto the radio and I was surprised that he knew every word. He would glance over to me to give a smile. I would just smile and shake my head. He was an idiot. But now he was my idiot.

He also gave me the space I needed when I took him to where I wanted to go. There was something comforting about my mum's grave that I am sure other people didn't feel. I spoke to her, hoping that she was listening somewhere. I was never one to believe in an afterlife but I want her to know. I wanted her to help me find the strength to do what I was meant to do in the morning.

I told her about what happened. I told her about our happy marriage. I told her that John had lost his job. I told her the man that it turned him into. I told her about he did to me. I told her about the Doctor and everything he had done for me. I told her I was scared. It would have just been nice to have felt her arms around me and to tell me that everything would be okay, like she did when I was young.

I looked back when I was ready for the Doctor to join me and we stood at her grave and I explained how she died, how she fell ill and within a matter of months she was no longer with me or my dad I told him how devastated John was by it and he had helped me through it.

In that moment, he told me that it seemed like I had just had a line of bad luck. He wasn't really wrong. I had lost two people I loved. Then he told me that he was going to do everything in his power to make sure that the line stops now. He told me that he was going to protect me, if I would allow it. I just laughed at him, telling him that he had already told me a number of times that he thought he had a duty of care over me.

Just before we left, on your trip back to London, the Doctor asked for a few moments with my mum. I stood off to the side, as he had done with me, but I could hear him tell her 'Not to worry Mrs Oswald, I am going to look after her now. She is safe now.' Part of me wondered if there was anything else he could do to make him even more attractive.

I felt tired all the way back. There was just something about confessing all that to my mum that made everything seem better. I felt sorry for the Doctor, who was already exhausted and had taken me to where I wanted to go, even though it was miles away in Blackpool. As soon as I snuggled up to the Doctor, I was asleep.

After that night, he started calling me Clara Oswald (my maiden name) or sometimes just Oswald. It was like he was trying to tell me that I was going to be Clara Oswald again. Maybe for not long but it would happen. Part of me loved how he made it sound. The Scottish accent just made everything sound so much better than the word actually was.

The first time he said it, we were stood in the corridor, our barrister the other end, signalling us to come down. He took my hand and said 'Ready Oswald?'. I know I turned to him and there was a look of surprise on my face. I hadn't been called my maiden name for four years. It was just a bit of a shock to hear him call me by it.

I don't actually know what I was so worried about. The Doctor was the first to be called up and he told them about how he had met me, the warning that Adrian and Danny had given him, the little clues I had given him and then the injuries John had given him in his jealousy over the friendship he had with me. I was just amazed at how calmly he could speak about it all.

Adrian was the next to go up. He said about John recruiting him to spy on me because I was close to him. He did turn to me and give me a small smile. I doubt that he knew that I had already forgiven him for his actions. Any sane man wouldn't turn John down. I was surprised to see Danny say a bit about what John did to him.

Then it was my go. The Doctor squeezed my hand before I got up. I stood there and answered every question with what I could. I recalled the days when he would seem like he didn't mean it and the days when I was absolutely terrified. I spoke about the checking through my phone and the jealously he would get about me being around any other male, expect himself or Adrian. When the counter spoke about the affairs that John thought I was having, I told him that even after everything that John had done, I had never been unfaithful to him. Maybe that was the wrong thing to say. I mean, I did kiss the Doctor. But a kiss wasn't being unfaithful.

I let out the biggest sigh of relief when both the injunction and divorce was granted.


	30. Honeymoon Over

_Thank you for the reviews and all the support with the story._

 _When writing it, towards the end, I did question why I was writing it. I don't really know why. But I didn't stop writing it and I was surprised by the response to it._

 _Taking a break due to exams. I will be back with two new stories, Hunted and Dear Doctor, on 9th and 14th May._

* * *

 **Honeymoon Over**

Happiness

So, John isn't part of my life any more. The last time I saw him was in court. I was allowed into the house and I gathered all my belongings and moved them into the Doctor's flat. I did look back once I had finished. I stood in the porch and looked at the house I had called home for so long. We had moved in just after we got married. I remembered all the times that me and John had there, the good and the bad. The Doctor took my hand when he realised what I was doing. He told me that it was time to leave. And with that I closed the door on that house and that life.

I managed to get out of a situation that I never thought was possible to get out of. I did fear that sometimes I was dreaming. It just didn't seem like it was real.

We took things slowly, even though that didn't seem like it would be possible with us both working and living together. But we managed to make it work. There were times when he would cook me dinner and we would have a romantic night in or he would take me out and treat me. I would never know how I could repay him. He has done more for me than anyone else.

Over the next few months, looks turned into little touches, which turned into hand holding, which turned into little kisses.

We even when up to Blackpool more regularly. It was something that I didn't get to do with John, either he was working or I was trying to hide everything from my dad. It was nice to see him more often as well as my gran and even it was nice to see Linda.

The Doctor had his flat valued a couple of months after the injunction and was surprised that his flat could be sold for more than he expected. We started to look for our first house together. It seemed like it was going a bit fast, even though we were trying to take things slowly. It just felt right to take that step with him.

Within eight months of the injunction and divorce being granted to me, the Doctor and I had moved into our first house together. It was a bit of a project but we had fun with it. It just needed a bit of modernising and a lick of paint. We would spend our days at work and the nights and weekends were for the decorating. There was one night when we set out with good intentions of getting one room done, but just ended up laughing on the floor, covered in paint. It was nice to feel like that again. I could just feel myself falling harder and harder in love with him. And I suspected that the Doctor felt the same way.

When we were ready to tell everyone about our relationship, it seemed like everyone already knew. Apparently, we just looked like we loved each other without having to kiss in front of people or hold hands.

As soon as we felt comfortable telling people, our relationship started gaining speed as well. I had joked about marrying him. I had joked that I couldn't wait to become Mrs John Smith for the second time. Which might have sounded strange everyone else, bearing in mind this was about a year after I divorced John.

It was one of the most awkward proposals ever. I wouldn't be lying if I said nothing went right for him. The Doctor happened to have an afternoon off, so left work early to cook me this wonderful meal. I came back to hear the fire alarm going off and him cursing loudly. All the windows were open as an attempt to get it to stop. He ordered a take away and as we waited for that, he went to propose to me. Instead of keeping the ring in the box, he had just put it in his pocket. As he when to reveal it, he dropped it, leading to him trying to find it under the table, to then bang his head on the said table. I did laugh at his expense. In the end, we sat on the sofa, waiting for the take away to still turn up, the Doctor had a bag of peas on his head and he just held up the ring and told me that he was mine if I wanted him. I just laughed at him before calling him an idiot and kissed him.

* * *

Clara sighed as she closed up her laptop. She had basically told the story of what happened to her and how she got out of it. Part of her wondered if it would help anyone else or whether it was just something for others to relate to. She knew that not everyone would have a Doctor like she did to save them.

She picked up the bag off the floor and slipped her laptop into it. She was still getting over what happened. The Doctor had joked that she was a control freak but she was starting to believe it. She just had to learn when to let go of control. She didn't need to try and regain control of her life any more. Her life was hers to live however she liked it now. She could talk to whoever she wanted to without the worry of her husband becoming jealous.

"It will help." The Doctor said as he joined her.

Clara looked over her shoulder and smiled at him. "I just … it's adjusting. I know that is what it is."

He came up and wrapped his arms around her middle and brought her close to him. He placed a kiss on her cheek. "I don't mind your control freak tendencies. Just as long as you don't become an egomaniac."

If he wasn't holding on her, she would have hit him. Instead she just laughed and noted that she would have to say something to him later to get him back.

"You know, there is one good thing about you sharing John's name."

"What is that?"

"At least I don't have to get used to a new name. At least I am still Clara Smith."

She felt him smile as his cheek was pressed against hers. "Clara Smith does sound good doesn't it. Almost as good as Clara Oswald."

"God, I know I went back to it temporarily to it, but it did feel weird." She turned and kissed him. "Anyway, I like being Clara Smith."

"I will leave you to get on." He said when he saw her suitcase still open on the bed. He let her go and walked to the door. "We have a plane to catch and lessons to plan and kids to get back to teaching."

Clara rolled her eyes at him. "Great." She said sarcastically.

"You love it really."

She smiled at him before she made her way around the bed to finish packing. She may have married the Doctor too soon in some people's eyes but she would have wanted anything else. He had helped her to get this new life and she wanted to spend it with him.


End file.
